"The ancient Egyptians’ gods weighed souls; Shylock traded a pound of gold for a pound of flesh. This is not dissimilar—a scale that offers a biased and narrow version of judgment that is worshipped with religious fervor."

"What if The Vampire Diaries’ resident baddie Klaus (Joseph Morgan) went to New Orleans to be bad in a different location?"
Does he become a P.I.?  Does he bring Seymour "Skinny Boy" Seymour with him?

“Like dancers?” “No.” “Golfers?” “No.” [Drops glass.] “Yes.”

Stay classy, asshole.  What's the over/under on how many episodes this genius actually finishes before he gets fired again because he can't stay on budget and/or not piss everybody off?

If you want to learn more about Jon-Erik Hexum, take a voyage down to your public library. It's all in books!

I've been waiting all day to see this updated with an "April Fools!" and am honestly surprised this is for real. Nice double bluff fool, I guess.

I like that the show always plays those cards light; if your an outsider (black foster brother, hanger-on-who-is-in-gay-lust, or whatever Ashley is) you can always identify who is going to get thrown out of the Hampton's.

Your brain may have done this because "Stand By Me" is a movie but also the name of a song and "Stand and Deliver" is  a movie based on real events and set in a high school.

"I’d quibble about Rayna and Teddy making the cover of such a publication, but maybe Taylor Swift and the Kardashians don’t exist in this universe."

"Yay, best wedding ever."

Maybe it will turn out that Carrie and Sebastian are actually half-siblings, which they won't find out until after they've had sex, and it is the horror of this revelation that explains why adult Carrie Bradshaw never had any contact with her father or sister on "Sex and the City."

Maybe the supernatural demon moved the Bates Motel to a different location?   Because they keep talking about the town when the whole point was that the motel was in the middle of nowhere.

Maybe the supernatural demon moved the Bates Motel to a different location?   Because they keep talking about the town when the whole point was that the motel was in the middle of nowhere.

I wonder if America, which has come so far since Ellen came out controversially in 1997, is ready for the "Anne the Angry Widowed Lesbian" spin-off — because, as much as some of the other characters can land the occasional joke for me and as much as I like Matthew Perry in other roles — I would be much more interested…

I wonder if America, which has come so far since Ellen came out controversially in 1997, is ready for the "Anne the Angry Widowed Lesbian" spin-off — because, as much as some of the other characters can land the occasional joke for me and as much as I like Matthew Perry in other roles — I would be much more interested…

I'm a little embarrassed about how much I imagined going back to Ryan Hanson's place and watching him masturbate — even if he kept the half-shirt on.

I'm a little embarrassed about how much I imagined going back to Ryan Hanson's place and watching him masturbate — even if he kept the half-shirt on.

Only her hairdresser knew for sure…until then.

Only her hairdresser knew for sure…until then.

Hey, you know what was great about that episode — how Quagmire realized that the horrible way he treats women and how he often jokes about (and often comes close to, if not actually) raping them contributes to the world where women feel like they have to stay with their asshole abusers because they feel like they have…