Do you just call everyone Charlie? Like your boss keeps telling you "fuck Wrighteous if you call me Charlie one more time I'll fire your ass!" and you respond "sorry boss man it's like tourettes." Is it a Cleveland/Chicago thing, like buddy, pal, man, or nigga might be in another place? Is it a It's Always Sunny…

1. It is Canadian 2. it is a sham version of a Mallomar. Unless some diabolical American went to Canada to steal their formula and pass it off I think we can assume the Canadians are to blame.

I am also a NY'er, I just like making assumptions about people people based on almost no data. The key for me is to put a thin layer of ketchup on and then top it with a layer of spicy mustard, best of both worlds.

What the fuck is stadium mustard? Like the yellow non-spicy kind? Because if so you are a fucking savage, and not only because you live in Cleveland.

I think you just changed my life. Thank you sir.

Tagalongs are the Pippen to Samoas Jordan, if Pippen didn't play basketball and was a one legged hairy prostitute.

This asshole is definitely from Chicago. Only someone from a second rate city would get snooty about a fuckin hot dog.

Those things are hard as rocks. You must live in a state where weed is legal.

That's a mallomar. Congrats, some Canadian ripped off the mallomar.

I'm with you on this one, fuck raisins, fuck them in their stupid asses (if they had asses).

The fact that they cannot be eaten less than a sleeve at a time probably doesn't help their nutritional impact either.

The fact that you have thin mints ranked over Samoas shows that years of what looked like a high cookie intake did nothing for your appreciation of quality. The list should be Samoas from at least 1-4, just to show some fuckin respect.

To tattoo artist: "Because I'm a star, a big bright shining star."-Mark Wahlberg Boogie Nights Voice

Young, wealthy, single, famous pro athlete parties a lot and sleeps with a lot of women: NEWS AT 11.

If you can't admit that you have watched a badly called game and wished for this you are lying to yourself.