That’s the “unauthorized” part of “unauthorized access of a computer.”

Deadspin’s editorial positions here are that a guy going to prison for four years over this is ridiculous and that the Cardinals should be banned from baseball forever and tossed into space.

He lost to the state penitentiary. Again.

There’s always next felony!

Does this also count as a Cardinals loss?

Pictured: The delivery system for the PEDs. Just open it up, you say? Not so fast, my friend. The game has only begun.

Anything? A testicle kicking contest where he goes first? Stabbing competition? Kevin James movie marathon contest? Sensual massage for the elderly showdown? A contest to see how long you can stand him chewing gum and makes smacking noises right in your ear?

Perhaps but the staff was completely right to escort that guy off the stage asap. If this kind of crap happens when it’s broadcast on ESPN2 then the sky is gonna burn.

Call me... Edge Lord.

Then there’s anal Mr. Wizard, who wouldn’t even let KBR give a victory speech on the mic last year. EVO has made his head grow a lot bigger over the years.

“Gondor calls for aid”! took me out. Holy shit that’s funny.

The ranch dressing on the side somehow helps with the concept of this picture.

I recently bought a pair a pale blue chinos before I realized they fucking match my skin tone.

...but teachers should only be 21-year-old Harvard kids who want to teach for two years!

As someone who is a shade darker than albino this made me laugh so loud it scared my cat.

I went to training this week to explain the math common core standards. It was full of teachers and I was one of only three people of color there. The other two women were in my carpool. There is something wrong with that. Students need to see people like them as teachers.

The overwhelming whiteness is like “WHOA!”