Dude, I am like, cackling with glee over here. Let the little shits rot in prison, because they deserve it, and let this be an example for other sentences to come.

Was looking for this. It was my exact reaction.

And, of course, he's the only one giving a convincing performance.

Julie Klausner is perfect and the haters can fuck right off and continue sucking at life.

There are tons of age appropriate sex-ed materials out there. You start early with things like puberty, how the body works etc. Then move onto crushes, relationship stuff etc.

I think that's kind of part of his shtick, now. This isn't the first time his crazy-ass hair has been mentioned, and I don't even watch the show, only clips. I think part of the joke is that he's now playing a caricature of his original late-night self. I don't know if it works (again, I don't really watch it), but…

I like his hair but I also like when guests make fun of it.

That was the most disturbing part of the Butt Rock essay. I would laugh so hard in someone's face if they thought you should listen to Poison ironically and the Decemberists earnestly.

Fish: the great equalizer.

Seriously. Sidebar: who in the fuck likes the Decemberists and their awful lyrics?

At my office earlier this week, a woman microwaved one of those flimsy blue plastic containers of mushrooms you get at the grocery store. The blue plastic melted into a flat shape, which she first showed off to someone, calling it a "plate." When the other person intimated that it was probably not safe to eat, she…

Throwing it on the floor is a little overdramatic, but as a vegan myself, I would probably run to spit it out if I found out something had clams in it, and not because of my veganism but more because seafood always grossed me out even when I ate meat. The smell! I'm surprised she didn't notice it right away, actually,…

When my (future) husband first asked me out, and asked if there was a particular kind of restaraunt I liked, I had to lay it out to him:

Obviously this person should stay in the relationship as the smug sense of superiority they get over their partner is more than enough to sustain them.

Who are two more completely different folk then Mary Matalin and Jame Carville yet they have been married for about 20 years. Just shows love conquers wide differences sometimes.