Sorry, I was a little too quick to the trigger there! I just immediately assumed you were implying that no one is really afflicted by food issues that people frequently make up (which pisses me off too)... I better simma' down!

This is such a grotesque example of what weddings have turned into. Not a celebration of love and commitment, not a way to unite two families and whole genealogies of friends, not a rare opportunity to see your grandparents bee-bop confusedly to "The Humpty Dance", but a goddamned pay-by-the-plate fundraiser.

...oh god, I almost forgot that exists. Shit.

Omg, yes! Homeboy is twerkin' it for real. Few white folks can do it properly. And Miley........well girl just stick to the pop songs.

Good lord almighty, I'll be in my bunk. And here I thought I was going to bed.

I imagined him yelling out "GET "EM!"