“The Standing Rock Sioux Tribe and all of Indian Country will be forever grateful to the Obama administration for this historic decision,” he said.

I am SO relieved! This whole situation has just been a nightmare of unfairness and abuse of power reminiscent of the bad old days of the civil rights movement, complete with water cannons. And when I learned that the pipeline was originally planned to go near some white town, and they got it moved because they were…

Okay, but can reporting on this story PLEASE emphasize that the camp is located on unceded treaty land? Not only are they being ordered to leave, but they’re being ordered to leave land that actually belongs to them.

As someone who has read her book it’s more like years of indoctrination and damaging emotional abuse that started when she was a teen. So try again.

honestly? because it’s a country that treats immigrants terribly. ISIS depends on western nations treating Muslims bad, because that’s how they recruit. Most Muslims would never, but after 10+ years of being spat upon, suddenly ISIS begins to look good. So ISIS preys on nations that treat Muslims bad, in order to spur…

which is remarkably funny, because melania totally aped the first lady’s speech, in heels.

You think most of the military didn’t vote for him?

Hey Ivanka: Guess whose shoes I keep seeing at the Goodwill?

It looks like she a glorified mullet. And if you have a mullet in 2016 you clearly cannot be trusted, in fashion matters or otherwise.

Ladies, as a dude? Here is a cardinal rule in DudeClub. When discussing how lovely a woman is, we never mutter how we can just “grab your pussy, whatever.”

Let’s do a little story problem:

The Rant Is Too Damn High

There are two kinds of people in the world...

Oh shit. Your neighbor was the tooth fairy!

I couldn’t figure out why a mustache was so upsetting... you mean porn stash! :)

you do not touch maddox

That’s true, but that’s why punching upward works and punching down doesn’t.

OH MY GOD!

Well now you’ve gone and forced me to post the single greatest joke anyone has ever told: