She can haz cheezburger. Yes, it's a McDouble. Only the best.

My kid has been more stoked about this movie than he was for Secret Life of Pets. We are going on Tuesday for our weekly night out. Kids have no taste and I’m okay with it. He can be a cynical cinematic snob in twenty years. For now, I’ll just enjoy hearing those giggles about a cranky cat-man.

Baby starts daycare on Monday and I go back to work (after 16 weeks off) the following week. I will be a wreck for a while. :(

I tried to post earlier, but it didn’t make it up?

This is going to sound harsh, but I couldn’t think of a nice way to say this.

I'm usually anti-remake of any kind, but is it just me, or is this actually genius? 10/10 will watch.

Season 7 was totally not canon. Fuck season 7.

I pretend that season 7 of Gilmore girls didn’t happen, I can do the same if this sucks.

I might warn you all that this gets really ugly, really fast.

That reminds me: I make one hell of a carrot cake, with lemon-cream cheese frosting. Whipped until fluffy, made with fresh lemon.

After breaking my engagement in college (yeah, yeah, I know...dodged a bullet) I started hanging out with this super cute Cuban guy named Carlos. I had a huge crush on him. After several non-romantic encounters, he asked if I wanted to play a captain’s choice golf tournament as his partner. I had never played golf in…

I probably should’ve made a new burner for this, but I doubt he reads Jez, so here goes:

I do not know if mine counts because I did not actually go on the date. I was stood up by a guy because before coming to pick me up, he got arrested for shop-lifting a toaster oven at K-Mart using the self-checkout machines.

I was dating this guy, and it was really early in the relationship. We’re talking maybe our second or third date. He picked me up and we went canoeing (I know, I know...but I’m an active person that and appealed to me).

Worst date: Dude showed up wearing jorts, carrying 2 handguns and a concealed carry license, and accidentally punched me when over-enthusiastically reaching for his beer.

I went on a date to the movies with a guy I really really really really realllllly really really liked. I crushed on him for SO LONG and he finally asked me out and I was OVER THE MOON.

Those things look like something that would squirt a poisonous liquid at contestants in the hunger games while making them hallucinate.

Reading. I want to get paid to read and learn things without using those learned things in any way except my own knowledge and pleasure.

Emily got out again, and now I am building a catio to contain her. I blame her Internet boyfriend for her poor behavior.

I made a gif from a video I shot! I’ve never done it before! I call it “Max gets a treat.”