Actually (man, I’m that fucking guy...), courts aren’t even really supposed to delve into whether or not a belief is sincerely held (see: Hobby Lobby). Rather, they look at if govt even has an interest in prohibiting that practice/belief and if the govt is interfering with that practice/belief in the least restrictive…

I genuinely hope his lawyers appeal this and that at some point the Supreme Court grants cert (which I know they won’t, but a man can dream). When it came to all this Hobby Lobby contraception bullshit, the stance of many of the justices was, “Who are we to say whether a belief is ‘sincerely held’ or not? Petitioners…

*HAPPENIS*

Thing about that is that aliens, at least, are real.

Hahahaha!!! Extra stars to you for this one!

Would you rather fuck a goat four times a year or have dinner with your in-laws four times a year? My SO’s family would seriously make me consider the goat...

“It just ain’t that deep.”

And then they kill off TJ Miller, the only interesting person in the movie.

Yes, but then she wouldn't be proving the point that these African women are SO beautiful that even a white woman would be willing to look like them for a second-and on the Internet for all the world to see, no less.

“I think that Michelle Obama’s on Ellen more than I am”

Call me naive (I’m not a police officer!), but it just seems like shooting people a couple at a time is a rather ineffective way to get rid of every black person in Chicago. Seems like they should have a strategy meeting to cast a wider net, if that’s what the police are going for. But I’m sure I’m going to have lots…

oh no Julianne, you’ve just made me realize I’m too old because I don’t know what that is and I don’t know if this is you sharing a simple fact or if it’s a joke, excuse me while I go play bridge and rub some bengay into my joints

A ‘Mazin.

“I would hate him only one percent less”

“What am I going to tell my kid about why she’s in that outfit?”

Is “Rad” his real name?

I’m fascinated by functional adults with tiny vocabularies. I assume they don’t read a lot of well crafted prose.

Not to brag or anything, but my dog already has her own REAL fur jacket.

It’s almost as if refusing to protect trans people didn’t stop straight men from going into womens’ restrooms to assault children there.

If nothing else, this piece served as a helpful reminder that Bobby Jindal is still (sort of) in the race. Go ahead and write something similar in a week or two. I’ll forget again by then.