Only a fool fucks with Phelps when he’s in compete mode.

And fuck all this nonsense about him partying when he’s not swimming. That man has spent more time honing himself into the perfect swimmer than any of us have spent doing anything (including jerking off). He ought to have a life permit to party the fuck down…

Lately, I wish more games didn’t have voice acting.

What a dick.

These line up perfectly.

Women can both kick ass and fall in love. Just like male superheroes.

( 1 You can’t walk into the convention

cach dem all ash. peekadoo

fuck off

This was perfect. You're perfect.

“Are you talking about me or Hillary Clinton, pumpkin?” I asked. “I’m sad because my vaginal elasticity is completely shot. I’m sad because fucking is like hitting a baseball into the Grand Canyon.”

I'm seeing, much to my shocked incredulity, that people do not see how fucking brilliant this is.

This is fucking amazing. Jesus.

Jason Schreier

To be fair, particle accelerators are basically the same idea.

The Ardrey Kell High School talent show: You pay for the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge

Savage AF imo tbqh.

Jesus can you be any more condescending in two words?

Oh, sweetie.