ugh, you are insufferable

On time, just like a dealer looking for a new customer.

I was trying to think of one of the worst, still technically food items to give the beer can chicken treatment to.

Other punchlines may contain:

Fish sauce.

Hey Chilledmilk,

Your problems truly are epic. I would suggest wearing clothes and carrying items in a way that does not injure your body or invade your clear and exacting sense of style. It is 2016 I have faith that we have solved this wallet & key conundrum you now find yourself in. Stay the course, you will find a solution.

I personally think that if someone is willing to and wants to work for a lower wage, than someone else, they should have the right to do so. There is something to be said about allowing people to freely contract out their time at a wage they feel comfortable with.

Keep licking those corporate boots! Maybe someday your overlords will reward you with more scraps in the race to the bottom!

I’m sorry, I have to say something. I’m a Bernie supporter, and a longtime Jezebel reader, AND I was there in the room. I shot some videos that have been aired on major networks, and I actually have a relatively neutral perspective. Could you please interview me for an alternate view of what happened, instead of just…

This might be one of the reasons I stopped watching - Brock Lesnar, in my opinion, was the start of it all but even he started to wise up towards the end of his short career and I definitely respected him more at that time.

Exactly. Judith Miller is still a shit reporter and Christopher Hitchens continued to be the bloviating ball of hot air until he died.

I dare say that some of them have put out even better work than some of the people who continue to flog them for a mistake they’ve already acknowledged and in many cases

So, creating a void in which ISIS could flourish is a mistake that can simply be attributed to “imperfection” and “being human”? GTFO.

Clinton’s Iraq vote isn’t a purity test, it’s a devastating lapse in judgement.

So your argument is that all humans make mistakes, so we can’t go holding them accountable for them? And if we do, we are like those who flog others? Would you re-elect the crew that got us into Vietnam? How about we reinstate and reinforce the system and practices that has led to major financial crashes? Because it…

Its zealotry to decide that people who voted for an illegal war shouldn’t be elected to office again a few years later?

The Cosby victims represent a good example of victims with no recourse to physical evidence (in most cases, as I recall). I’m not sure what balance a legal system ought to strike in a situation like that. I suppose the best we can hope for is for these things to be rare, and increasingly more so.

I’m sorry, but as an artist and writer myself that mentality really pains me. I wish less people had that mentality

gives them more freedom than they could ever get in 95% of the world

Wow, do you say things like Obama-phone, too?

LOL. “Free stuff.”