I have a massive crush on Jordan Peele so I am inclined to hate Chelsea Peretti out of pure jealousy but I watched her standup special and it was fuuuuuunny so I can't hate her. Sigh. Still jealous, though.

She is Lindsay with an "a" please do not insult us Lindseys with an "e" in that manner.

I know I'm just being an idiot. There's a lot of people in my area who go to ND for work.

There are developments in North Dakota?!

Sometimes defending the rich, who can pay you to devote considerable time and energy to a case, creates precedent that benefits every indigent defendant who comes after you.

Then most people are stupid if they really believe that.

To me, too. Also, to make carrying a gun even remotely beneficial to your safety, you'd have to practice drawing it and firing all the time. No thank you. My dad gave me a handgun once, and I ended up giving it back because I never shot it, never practiced with it. It was more of a liability than a help at that point.…

A woman in my town was shot and killed a month ago by her two year old in Walmart. She had her gun in one of those purses, so I wouldn't put my trust in those.

Ariana Grande owning six dogs sounds like an animal rights disaster waiting to happen.

One of my anti-vaxxer Facebook friend posted this article about a study that said people vaccinated for pertussis can still spread it to non-vaccinated people, as if this proves you shouldn't vaccinate. HOW DOES SHE THINK THE VACCINATED PEOPLE ARE GETTING EXPOSED TO PERTUSSIS?

My fourth grade teacher's parents were missionaries and she contracted polio as a child. She wears a huge leg brace and has a significant limp. I bet she would have liked a polio vaccine.

One time in grad school I was recovering from a stomach bug that wiped out my appetite for like a week, and I made a joke that the upside was that it's an effective diet. This woman who went to undergrad at Bryn Mawr looked at me like I was SEXISM AND MISOGYNY IN HUMAN FORM. I always assumed people at Bryn Mawr were…

I'm disappointed that you went with "for a new documentary" in the parenthetical instead of "alright!"

I refuse to consider a man with a goatee. I realize it's ridiculous, and I realize I may be missing out on some great men, but I find goatees so horrendously unattractive that I just can't do it. I guess that makes me shallow, but there's no excuse for intentionally grooming yourself to look DISGUSTING.

My Idaho town passed an ordinance to this effect two years ago. The bathroom thing. Man. The opposition just CLING to that excuse.

For something this horrible, it's got to be a coping mechanism. How could you function/go on unless you refused to believe your child did this to your grandchild?

I kind of feel sorry for this girl because she clearly has anxiety about being a virgin and lacks the self-confidence to just say "who cares" and just keep on being her. It comes with age (and with not being around producers who exploit these things).

Or you're me, who is #foreveralone from both hookups and marriage.

Pippa (the dog in front) is not a rescue. I know this because people on Twitter got hella judgmental when Chrissy flew to Florida to pick her up from the breeder. I am Team John and Chrissy on that one.

I take generic Prozac for anxiety (which I think was also causing depression) and it made an almost immediate difference. It's amazing! Two years now and it still works. I even cut back the dosage.