Mom and I always gag at the “MY WONDERFUL, HANDSOME, PERFECT HUSBAND” and “MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE I’M BLESSED TO BE MARRIED TO” stuff, and were absolutely delighted to hear this. We just figured it was someone else who always gagged at all the endless praise people have for their spouses.  The only thing that could be…

“The Thirteenth Year: A boy goes through puberty and also turns into a merman.“

“Missing and Exploited Children” aren’t a lobbying firm flush with cash. 

The Center for Missing and Exploited Children is using tech old enough to drink. 

Let’s do it. Rip the bandaid right off this mass extinction event!

desperately trying not to imagine miller’s o-face

Abby, we ARE thinking of Kavanaugh’s daughters.  Isn’t it in their best interest not to be raised by an ill-tempered sex pest?

Welcome to the world of drunk college boys.

I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE

Hot dog tree seeds are a less damaging scam for our society. 

Swimsuit wedgies are why I only wear swim shorts. Good lord, what do you expect to happen with high cut swimsuits.  You have an ass, wedgie. You don’t have an ass, sagging wedgie. It’s wedgies all around. 

I think I rode with that Odin on the MARTA...

I volunteer as tribute!  A grand archivist for the end times I shall be, carving our history into the sides of mountains as a warning to the whales who will inherit our horrific hellscape of a planet.

I, for one, will take up arms and fight for our new cetacean overlords.

And here I was thinking all the sorrows of the world were because of the gays.

Yup. Never ever getting my legs waxed before my period again. Ever. “Oh, what a mild tingling”, said post-period me, “how much worse can it be?”

All according to plan. 

So girl cop has the option to wear tights... but does boy cop have the option to wear short shorts?

That’s no fun.