Because only Appalachia voted for Trump, am I right?

His fiancée must be so proud. (It’s not too late, Carly! Run!)

Decoupage?

#1 is such a big one. Anyone with left leanings in KS... it’s like you’re keeping some dark secret locked up in the attic. A couple of co-workers and I got to talking at lunch yesterday during a conference, and somehow mentioning our opinion that some people were just a wee bit too into their guns felt like something…

Ugh, this kind of parenting sounds stifling. I’ve no right to judge as a parent, because hell will grow wildflowers before someone drops out of me, but as that kid who was FUCKING OBSESSED with glitter and bright colors and costume jewelry because apparently my mother birthed a magpie, I can imagine the frustration…

I bet “my wife voted to get me deported” is pretty solid grounds for divorce.

I got a swimsuit from Athleta last year that’s pretty much a sports bra and boy shorts. Overpriced? Sure. But I can actually swim and horse around in the damn thing without my tits falling out, AND I don’t have to put sharp blades near my loins to stay “decent”. Worth every single penny.

Screw finding something historically important. Somewhere in storage is a picture of my Great Aunt Mabel on an elephant from when she ran away to the circus. She was the kind of woman who opposed jazz music and used this awful newsprint toilet paper well into the ‘90s, so I need proof that at one point she was wild…

You would not believe the stories I’ve heard. I’m pretty well convinced that most women lose any perspective on what TMI is after they hit sixty.

I’ve had a hard time with his other novels for some reason, but his short stories are DIVINE.

Truth. And when I said, “I’m going to Sara’s!” it was a two-mile bike ride. While I was in my single digits. Through areas that were under construction, no less! With my niece, there had to be driving no matter how close the other house was, because safety, and you can’t just stay in and hang out! Or, in my case,…

Man has gone too far.

The book is beautiful. So’s the movie, but there’s something so sweet about the book’s prose that makes me love it more.

Pretty sure elevated risk of death due to the only feasible option being illegal back alley abortion services counts as an undue burden. But what do I know, silly little thing with ovaries has nothing between her ears!

Damnit Iowa! This isn’t the sort of thing you go “hold my beer” about.

Lies told to us by the Dinosaur Church to test our faith.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

“refreshed”

I guess when the conversion doesn’t work at least kids who go to Bake the Gay Away Camp have a life skill?

Truer words have never been typed.