Part 3 is here.....and as usual, the comments are gold and better than the whole story.

I would love to get a gig writing for Jezebel. In fact I found this blog-I should say, it found me-because a friend of mine was like "Hey, you'd like this blog-sounds just like you and your ranting" and well, here I am.

My mother was a text book narcissist. I was relieved when she died, because I finally had a socially acceptable answer for why I had no contact with her anymore. I was finally free from having to justify why I didn't speak to her, have a relationship any longer, and I couldn't even describe the covert, insidious…

Except in porn. For some reason, Pizza delivery guys always get pulled into a 3 some and get laid when they bring the pizza.

I've read a number of articles about this story of La Femme Nikkita here. And depending on the article-she comes off as the bat shit crazy one. I mean there have been a number of people she has allegedly told this to, and even the people who's house she showed up at after he alledgedly hit her head-even they said that…

The funny thing, is that I used to think I was pretty 'freaky', 'kinky' open-minded. I realized after this gig I am totally vanilla, boring, unoriginal and yes not so much freaky. I'm an out-right prude compared to the things discussed and asked for (and that are really going on in the world.) It truly is amazing what…

I was asked to just smoke I don't know how many times. That's it. Not even topless, naked or anything. Just-smoke a cig. Got 50 bucks in 5 mins to do what I was gonna do anyway lol. I've since quit, but yeah theres requests like that or 'let me see your feet.' That's it....just wants to see your feet in some heels.…

I did this gig for a week, thinking I'd make loads of cash. There is money to be made but I just couldn't hang. The thing is-I'm 47. Granted, I look younger, genetically blessed with a little body. The niche that was attracted-I thought would be old, OLD dudes like in their 70's.....NOPE. The milf/cougar/gilf thing is…

"Flat white?" Are you at Starbucks, or Home Depot?

I personally believe it depends on the cancer. In this case, this mother is totally negligent and ridiculous. This is a highly treatable cancer-but only with chemo. Other cancers, such as breast-there is radiation, experimental drugs, etc. Its still western treatment, but not with the chemo fears that many have.

Not sure you need TV or a newspaper. Somehow, humans have survived for thousands and thousands of years knowing the temperature by simply going the hell outside and realizing "Damn, its fucking cold." We are just spoiled now to know the actual numbers, which doesn't make a damn bit of difference because even 30 degree…

It did exsist. I was around 18 yrs old when Chicago had the coldest wind chill on record to date, -83 windchill in 1985. I think however, that was the beginning of the wind chill phenom now known as weather drama. And we all secretly love weather drama, c'mon lol

Im in Chicago, from Chicago, but lived in Tampa last year. When it got 'cold' there, when the polar vortex thingy dipped down, making it like 46 but a wind chill in the 30's....I can tell you that even 56 is damn cold in Tampa. The reason is the dampness. Well that and you go from 80's, 70's to 50's. A 20 to 30 degree…

Exactly a month before my 30th birthday, I walked out of divorce court saying' Wow. Divorced, with two kids, all before I turn 30. Now what?" And 30 hit me hard. I have no idea why....it just felt, so-IDK-OLD. And like you I thought I was a failure at life.

Well the first tweet says "sam" with a totally different picture, then the second is a K with a different picture even tho the tweet address is the same. IDK, because I don't tweet how it all works.

Wow,its really hard to figure out why he wouldn't want her in his house at all. I wonder what broke them up??*

If anything, this just proves that the vast majority of porn is produced by sociopaths. I thought fisting was atrocious. But I am really fascinated with the psychology behind this. The men that film it, all the stage hands (lighting, sound, costuming, etc)-all the actors-I mean at what point would any of them say "Ok…

I'm in my late 40's, and I spent my entire 30's reproducing Anthony Bourdain's healthy eating lifestyle. I was only able to master the massive amounts of whiskey and cigarettes, while traveling to places I'd never thought I'd go (Mississippi, anyone?) I think when I was in New Orleans I ate something exotic but I…

I'm so totally jaded, because my first thought was "is all that stuff glued/nailed down?" How come no one has stolen anything??

Breathing-I can't even. It really is so hard to pick just one that had my lungs in a spasm from laughing-it was a toss-up between the alfredo-covered burrito in a planter at the bookstore,and this: http://someoneatethis.tumblr.com/post/943897539…