I'm living this hell every day.

Somewhere, a ‘STICK TO SPORTS!!1!!1!’ Deadspin commenter sits in front of a computer screen, sweating, unable to move, broken.

Can I borrow a media credential? Asking for a friend.

500 Days of Trump continues.

I asked my coworker, Tim Brady, what he thought about Trump and his plans for Muslims, and he told me to get the fuck out of his cubicle. Also I’m not a reporter. Can I still have $100?

Born on 6th Dec, so his full name is Saint Nicolas West! :)

Yeah, but they also name their babies Nigel.

But who is Rita Ora????

Right, and I read she got a boat load (properties, businesses, etc.) in her divorce settlement with Mohammad.

If that was the case, then I would have preferred Dolphin, or Trojan.

It's because her ex Reggie Bush played for the saints.

“Do Your Job”

This is the look of every woman at last call.

Are you a cop?

“The commenters outside looked from feminist to troll, and from troll to feminist, and from feminist to troll again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

That’s insulting to potatoes.

I find this shocking, as I was certain Ted Cruz was a russet potato born of potato parents.