While the boxes may be wrong, there are differences[....]

I respect people's chosen pronouns, but a group concept of gender identity affects MY life. I'M a bad driver because I'm a woman. Auto repair guys DON'T take me seriously because I'm a woman. Both those stereotypes probably apply to trans women in a general sense, and they shouldn't apply to any of us.

I have spent my entire life fighting people who put me into boxes on account of my being a "woman." Just as I fight boxes made for "men" and "gays." The freedom to change labels is still more limiting than the removal of the labels. My physical sexual characteristics are the ONLY thing that I allow people to consider…

"Chill the fuck out Red Riding Hood. There be no Wolves here."

So, the store needs to quiz the customer and ask "are you a woman or are you a cross dresser" ? How would the store know which is which? The gender you identify with is about what is inside your head, which the store and the other customers cannot see. So, they either have to ask you, make the call themselves and…

I have questions!

1. What the hell kind of bra fitting fancy pants place has an open dressing room? I mean, it wouldn't bother me, but all the ones I've seen where they give you an actual fitting, the room is private.

2. Why does everyone assume that a lingerie shop that does bra fittings would ONLY sell bras? Have…

Maybe I'm dense as fuck, but I'm not understanding the backlash. This company is clearly doing round-off back-handsprings to accommodate all women, feels shitty that someone didn't feel comfortable in their store, and are literally making every possible effort to correct the situation. What Kat doesn't address here,…

As a transwoman living in Austin, I've visited this establishment and I was thoroughly pleased by their service. I had no issues whatsoever getting a fitting that worked great for me, and the lady kept bringing bras until we found one that worked well. That said, it never came up that I was trans, because it really…

there seem to be two entirely different fears coming into play here.

I totally disagree with everything this store did, but yes, there are a great number of creepy guys who creep around women's bra stores and watch while ladies pick out their panties. It's a thing.

I worked at a maternity store, and we had a man who would often show up around closing time, asking to try on bras and stockings. He wasn't transgendered, he was a straight male transvestite who liked the idea of maternity clothes for some reason. We weren't allowed to let men in the fitting rooms, so he just bought…

And her comfort is more important than mine or someone else that might have an issue with a biological male being in the dressing room? Viscous cycle there. And how is she barred from public spaces? She was welcomed into the store, she was welcomed into a fitting room, and she they offered to fit her. I am missing the…

It is not her responsibility to be "pretty," or even to "pass". It is absolutely the responsibility of the lingerie store to protect ALL of the other women—cis and trans—inside their store from a wolf in the sheepfold. If any associate had even a shadow of a doubt that Kylie Jack anything other than just a woman…

You don't have to have the same life experiences! But this is part of the larger conversation we have when we talk about women and feminism. We should absolutely be inclusive, but the issue is, IMO, more complex than Kat and others are presenting it.

I think there is one thing that separates (but doesn't justify) this particular instance from the standard bathroom-policing. Many men see lingerie stores as sexually-charged spaces in a way that is not true of other places that are generally sex-segregated: I have heard horror stories of jacking off in changing rooms…

Really? The myriad stories out there about men stalking, videotaping and harassing women isn't reason enough? You need to get outta that bubble.

This is really bad logic that ignores the inherent power dynamic between men and women coded into society for thousands of years, and the fact that most rapists, abusers of women, etc. are men. The issue is more complex than Kat is presenting it as.

Clearly you have no understanding of what it is like for a woman post-mastecomy to go for a bra fitting for the first time. Therefore this would be good time for you and yours to shut up.

I second ladyology. This is not that unusual a set up in lingerie stores that actually cater to (but aren't exclusively for) post mastectomy clientele.

You're missing the point, it's not about the feeling of "hate" it's about the primary motivation for the crime being the victim's association with a group that is the basis for something being called a "hate crime". In this case it is possible and not yet determined (which is why they said there is yet no…