My Motorola Razr flip phone would look nice in this house.

Ham salad... the fuck?

This is about as artisanal as I get with my toast.

I'm a 28 yo dude and I've already learned how to flip tortillas with my fingers. Thanks, mom!

Congrats?

I'm a dude. I'm wearing a pair of black 2Xist briefs I bought freshmen year in college. I graduated 5 years ago.

Eh it doesn't really dry it out because it cooks quicker and makes it char on one side while the other side s still tender. There's an article on SeriousEats about the logic on it. http://aht.seriouseats.com/archives/2012/…

The designers are two women and these looks are barely a third of their collection this season.

I was in Park City yesterday. I saw so many guys wearing just blazers with jeans and women wearing designer high heel sandals with skirts. I wanted to wrap them up in those grey wool blankets firemen give you!

Other than bathroom ghosts, (pervs), kitchen ghosts are awful. In my last apartment we had a kitchen ghost that would knock out glass wear from the dishwasher. I'm talking like up and over the crate shit. We also had flowers that would die if left there for more than a day, and the dog we dog sat wouldn't enter the…

Am I supposed to say +1?

Scientists also say his last words were "YOLO".

I made a porno... yadda yadda yadda... I took the train back to D.C.

You just have to develop an ability to soap your face with your eyes open. It stings at first and you may go colorblind, but at least ghosts won't fuck with you.

I'll take her fuckery over Miley's sucio tongue pictures any day.

I KNEW you were into dead kittens.

I'm sorry.

Fair enough.

Yes... smoke puff... yes.

I pinch my nipple really hard and think about dead kittens. That's how I attempt to pee with an erection.