No, Jessica, you don’t have to be friends with him! God I could cry.

Yep. I am. I am “high maintenance.” I also pack my trash out because I’m not an asshole.

Occasionally I like to pick up a Vogue (even though I am a Fat Poor and outside their demo) since some of the stuff they feature can really be quite beautiful to look at. At the same time I see some utterly ridiculous things and sigh that 99% of “fashion” is a scam.

“...proudly wore the damn thing while scanning every single person within range to not only make sure everyone saw their hat but also ensure that people knew it was on purpose.”

My mother smokes (cigarettes not weed although God knows she could use it) and whenever I visit her house I feel like it gets all over my clothes. I HATE the smell of smoke. It makes visiting unbearable.

“Horton, Here’s a Poo!”

128 years old is still included in the Fox news demographic

If you think Mr. Graham isn’t using an alternate account to follow Ms. Fenty’s Instagram, I have a beach house in Calabasas to sell you.

Hm. I don’t know. This dress kind of reminds me of a tampon.

TIL that it must be pretty damned hard to photograph dinner plates, because I scrolled down and said “Did Joanna post a picture of her fucking NuvaRing?”

Yeah this photo is homophobic!

Well this is traumatizing.

I’d still take Rodan + Fields over the sex cult. But give me a choice between that and LulaRo or Mary Kay and I’d be heating up the branding iron myself.

LIVE THE EXPERIENCE

She can run. Her father was an American citizen so that makes her a natural born citizen no matter where she was actually born.

People will show up at the theater and there’s no movie and the only thing to eat is a half bag of stale raisinettes someone found on the floor.

Diana, I’m not trying to be rude, but you really need to brush up on your proofreading skills.

They’re actually looking through his crotch, at his wallet in his back pocket. Like Superman, except hoes. I believe the prophet Soulja Boy wrote of this 

I feel bad for Khloe but...

I sleep well at night knowing I won’t have to explain to my grandkids someday that I was one of the good Germans.