Luckily they’ll all be dead soon

The stupidity of his voters is truly mindblowing. The Republicans control both chambers of Congress and the presidency, and they still couldn’t pass this garbage law. The Democrats— much as they’d like to take credit for it— had nothing to do with its failure. It was infighting within the Republican party and the…

“Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?”

As a veteran of the corporate communications field, this sounds to me like too-many-tweeters-in-the-twitter-kitchen. Someone from the PR department posted, then someone from corporate stepped in with their two cents’ worth, then furious back-pedalling and damage-control ensued.

“Yoga’s great for your health and important to keep up during your busy schedule! Now dress properly, slut!”

I love the shit out of Barefoot Contessa. She cooks in my dream kitchen without regard for costs. I live vicariously through her. Cooking beef bourguignon and puff pastries while your favorite gays throw together a beautiful tablescape and floral arrangement? How fabulous is that? I wondered why she hasn’t had many…

Donald: this is the deal, take it or leave it!

What’s hilarious about all of this is that if you take him at his word (i.e. that Obamacare is a horrible system that is hurting people), then he’s essentially willing to saddle America with terrible healthcare out of SPITE.

I love that he says it as though it’s a badge of honor, and not because he’s likely more corrupt than Nixon ever dreamed possible.

“Just fuck me up, fam.”

What the fuck is The Wing and why on fucking earth would I favor that over getting a raise??? I live in Chicago.

To be fair it’s an entire head of Romaine in an empty Country Crock tub

No lie, that sounds like Donald Trump tweeting from Deeley’s account.

I think they mean like bad weed, no?

The modern GOP would EAT their own children on live TV and then investigate Clinton for canibalism.

Wow, I actually felt my vagina slam shut and try to permanently seal itself off

“Who will saaaaaaaaaaave yer baubles?”

I feel all sorts of sad for these closeted kids, of course, but I also love this story. It’s important to be able to look back on heteronormative institutions and see the queer reality beneath the surface. It helps to destroy the myth that things were “better” and “normal” [again, read: heteronormative] in the “good…

So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?