now, thats just cruel.

holy shit, #grandmagoals

He’ll just build a seawall. And France will pay for it.

for one thing, the carpet is a fright with all the people headed out the door.

Things my dad taught me:

We don’t have to take our clothes off
To have a good time
Oh no
We could dance & party all night
And drink some cherry wine

my god, how i’ve missed you.

What you gonorrhea do when it comes for you?

I literally laughed and slapped my knee when I saw the news pop up! I mean, yeah, we’re all still utterly and royally fucked, so it’s a gallows humor sort of thing, but gallows humor is better than nothing at this point.

Maybe Kelly will fire Trump too.

“Christ...Jesus! It moved! Get my smelling salts! I’m...taking advantage of this!”

I thought my old roommate was a little off, but the rent was cheap in a nice area. I remember when we sat down to watch the first Republican debate. I had my wine and tweeting fingers all ready to go. Then I noticed she was not laughing, but concentrating with a furrowed brow. “Donald Trump brings a lot of business…

Of course she did. She’s a joke. An intellectual lightweight playing at being a conservative thinker.

Unrelated but I had to share this. I was getting ready to grill while living with my grandparents-in-law, and my grandpa-in-law is blaring whatever garbage is on Fox news on Sunday nights. The panel is talking about the Justin Trudeau rolling Stone cover and pointing out how many first great albums they didn’t like…

Aww... poor pup. My Sophie is not particularly dog-friendly. Actually, she’s dog-selective. We can control her on walks, but she doesn’t do well in dog parks. You know what we do? We stay out of dog parks. Why? Because we love all dogs, not just our own, and we are responsible adults. This woman needs a kick in the…

Plagiarizing myself from GT, because this story makes me so happy:

They’re not even competent at giving non-answers or dancing around an issue! How did they get to where they are?

I’m not going to lie, the idea of it looking like a glowing object in space kind of made me want to do it more.

Spicer struck me as someone who was guilted into the job by Preibus (“we need experienced people to help!” “do it for your country!”) and was burdened by the job. The other fucks are true believers.

You guys, when he took the podium today he asked everyone to congratulate Sarah Huckafuck Sanders for becoming the new press secretary and literally three people clapped and they were all trump staff. I will take whatever I can get at this point.