“’It’s wholesome play,’ she said...”

Heh no but there were six colors to choose from. I couldn't remember what they all were.

I am still very much in touch with my inner 15-year-old girl, despite being nearly 36, and I did a full-body shudder.  Although this seems minor, I feel like this was soul-crushing at the time and I relate so hard.  I’m sorry for the young LooseSeals.

In seventh grade I had the brilliant idea of joining the football team (I’m a girl) bc my crush played, I’d see him more, we’d have a shared interest, etc. Turns out, I was really good (being bigger than a good bunch of them bc they hadn’t caught up yet, and playing with my dad most of my childhood) and that was not…

Gay dude here. I was OBSESSED with this guy at the gym in college. Gorgeous, blonde, and drove around with a geriatric golden retriever in the back of his pickup truck. Legit snack. One day he saw me stretching (I begged my mother to let me take gymnastics and dance classes and wear lycra as a child—ahem—shoutout to…

I had a crush on a boy in middle school - he was in 8th grade and I was in 6th and we had lockers near each other. So naturally started putting anonymous notes in his locker. Someone spilled the beans or else he saw me sneaking away and left one in mine that said, essentially, "I know you've been leaving notes in my…

When I was 22 I met a guy that I immediately had chemistry with. Through talking all night, he told me he hates mayonnaise. I, being too young to know that it’s okay to have your own opinions in regards to condiments, immediately agreed that I found mayonnaise disgusting...WHICH IS A LIE. I love the stuff!

I got a tattoo and concocted a fairly elaborate lie about a band that I had joined in college with an obligatory tragic story wrapped within the overall lie about 3 of my fellow band members being killed/dying in various horrible/tragic ways, to try and win the affections and hopefully body of someone. It didn’t work…

God this is so cringy. I was 19 and needed to look super, extra hot and sexy and attractive for my new bf, so after reading one incredibly dumb article in Cosmo, I followed their advice to shave - ummm, his initial - uh - down there. I spent a good twenty minutes perfecting it in the mirror and felt super sexy and…

The most ridiculous thing I did to impress a crush was pretend to really like Atlas Shrugged and Ayn Rand because the guy was THAT guy you knew as a teenager. I was 17, horny, and stuck at sleep away camp.

If they’ll make Twilight fanfiction into a movie (or three) and they’ll make One Direction fanfiction into a movie, when are they going to get around to making Trapped in a Island with Josh Hutcherson into a movie?!?!

If this makes you feel better, I was raised by a single mom and my dad refused to pay child support. My mom also had bad credit after having to use credit cards for medical issues. When I got into college, I actually qualified for a lot of federal and state grants due to our income, in addition to a few scholarships,…

My favorite anti-abortion movie.

meanwhile over here in single Mom land with a deadbeat ex who pays nothing, I worry every single day about how my daughter will get into college & how we can be approved for loans after said ex ruined my credit, she’s 11 but I’m worried now & will be in a constant state of worry for the next 7 yrs or so...

“hair mourning jewelry” : who knew?

WITNESSED!!!!

I’m at the NBC studio store in New York. It’s maybe 1999? My favorite cousin was a HUGE Friends fan. I barely know Friends myself (I didn’t even own a TV at the time, because of being poor). So I went there to buy her some merch. I chose this giant Friends Central Perk latte mug. Seemed like a fun gift!

I’m leaving the…

When I was about 16 I was hanging around London Marylebone station with my friend Neal when Jimmy Savile came over and said hello to me. Neal was quite a shy and unassuming guy but he immediately stood up and said “why the hell would she want to talk to you, you’re a disgusting pervert, now fuck off!” and off went…

When I was young I worked at a major arts venue in Manhattan that had some recording studios. Occasionally we would see celebrities in the hallway coming to or from recording sessions.

Pregnancy is a potential consequence of sex. If a man isn’t prepared to accept that his sexual partner may choose an abortion, he shouldn’t have sex.