Fuck Him Right In The Pabst

When I got to the “dark chocolate” bit I involuntarily shouted my safe word and scared my sleeping cat so badly, he scurried off the bed.

My little sister came home one day sobbing and said “my friend hung himself.” My mom patted her on the shoulder and said, “hanged.”

yougotsentenced.com

If you're just going to cut and past the IKEA catalog... that's cool.

I look at the shirt, think "Frankie Say Relax" and realize some things never change.

"Those of us at the live taping were shocked when he announced his resignation."

I'll tell you what nobody warned me about: All the goddamned laundry. We went from doing laundry maybe twice a week to doing it three or four times A DAY. (Granted, we had twins, but still.) Even having lived through it, I still do not understand how they generate so much laundry.

Ah she clearly comes from the same place as my youngest sister, who at 10 or 11 was asking my mom what a word in her book meant, and while showing my mom the page, my sister used her fingers to cover up the word "menstruation" so my mom wouldn't know she read a book with that in it (mom does not care, is still amused).

Ah, zesty public librarians, I envy you.

I'm picturing a teeny, tiny Queen Victoria. "We are not amused."

As a librarian, I can assure you that people still ask these weird things.

Dear Ms./Mrs/Mr/Whatever Prefix Suits Your Fancy/ Merlan,

At our yearly dance recital, we used to do a Daddy Daughter number at the end of dress rehearsal. And if the Dad's were on board, we did it the last night of the show. Just the corps dancers/TAs with their Dads. My Dad, with out fail or rhythm, danced for 5 years straight including a number which spliced YMCA with…

Teh intartubes provides:

Well, best and worst both come from ex-relationships. Neither gift was expensive; it's the amount of thought and care that went into them that separates the two.

So for most of my childhood my mother was just insanely busy with work 100% of the time, especially around Christmas, so she would usually give me cash and commission me around December to buy her Christmas presents for her and wrap them, just to take some of the stress off for the holidays. This way the only presents…

Please. They're called "pages."

Um, actually it's not about his penis. It's about ethics in journalism.