I worked with a librarian in the days before the Google and she was trying desperately to help a man looking for information on celery production. She went through the agriculture section with no luck and both she and the patron were getting more and more befuddled when she finally realized he needed material on cell…

Yep. You'd be amazed at what I can block out.

Husband and I have always shrugged off noisy kids on a plane or in a restaurant as, “Not ours? Not bugging us.”

The line where Sandra Bullock is talking about her ex-husband and Melissa McCarthy asks, “Was he a hearing man?” Not funny in print but a great piece of comedic timing.

My mother was the same and for the same reason! I hated my short hair (and hated how other kids thought I was a boy) and I have just backed the hell off any decisions that my kids make about their hair. Want it long? Sure. Want it short and shaved up the sides? Whatever. It’s only hair.

Our cat did this when we returned from vacation. Obviously pissed at our leaving.

My husband, whom I have seen cry only 3x in 25+ years, got choked up in front of the altar and it calmed me down considerably because I thought to myself, “Somebody has to keep it together.”

Stephen Colbert on the death of his mother: ‘I know it may sound greedy to want more days with a person who lived so long, but the fact that my mother was 92 does not diminish, it only magnifies the enormity of the room whose doors have quietly shut.’

Yep, we offer it for free right now due to a grant but even after it runs out, our pricing is 50 cents per 15 min of printing.

I read that as “Gone Girl” creator and was intrigued. Now, not so much.

Hmmm, looks like I need a few copies of each for our library system.

My mother went out on a date with a guy once who whipped out a penlight to check the bill, line-by-line. “Once” is the key word in that sentence.

I have often thought if I was Oprah-rich, I would get a personal chef because I am SO done with planning, shopping, prepping, cooking, and cleaning up. DONE, I tell you.

Is your safe word a retching sound? Ack.

Skipped the bouquet toss altogether and presented the bouquet to my mom instead.

My mom was big on safety rules and figured scarring her children emotionally was an effective tactic. I had wandered away when I was about 5 years old and ended up near some train tracks. When she found me she told me that’s he knew a little boy that was hit by a train and his parents had to bring him home in a…

They smell like goats, not AXE. Well, maybe goats sprayed with AXE.

Libraries?

Could be either. http://mentalfloss.com/article/52151/…

Yes! And when I had my second one, my laundry somehow tripled. How the hell does that math work?