Peppard used to carry around a tin of sea salt in his pocket. And whenever he brought a fetching young starlet to Woodland, he take a pinch of the salt, throw it at the girl, and then say, 'You've been salted. Now for a dash of PEPPARD."

I get it now. "Son" is the verb and "hack" is the adjective. My brain just defaults to English. My bad.

"Sons" used as a verb is dumber than Steve Simmons.

Tom Ley daughters this headline.

@JoeyBats19 follows me on twitter! I feel so special!

Find a way to make a baby without that male and you may have a point.

So weird. You would think that they'd be more likely to go into the water after they knew the Pirates were out of it.

That's not only untrue but it's also irrelevant

Not that I don't agree with your point, but I've known a couple people who did actually get more irritable after they smoked. I have no idea why, nor do I know why they'd smoke under those circumstances, but there it is. Not saying that's the issue with Ward, but still.

While that is valid, if the DA has access to a report that says the presence of THC was that high, then it does have a bearing on Wards actions that night.

Not sure what Ward's family is allegedly due... guy made himself a candidate for a Darwin Award the minute he stepped out of that car and started going after high-velocity heavy death machines just because he was mad.

The drive-thru automatic car wash is my shit! Makes me feel like I'm in Starfleet or something.

If you want peace and quiet, you gotta stay home or hit up a library. Otherwise, you are taking your chances with loud kids, smelly hobos, assholes on cell phones, and the rest of life's rich pageant.

And yet somehow a gay slur is still acceptable for those teams in Green Bay and Chicago.

10's and 10'of Deadspin bloggers and commenters care and like 60 other people.

He wisely left out the part about forcing her to attend 8 Lions home games a year.

Kids aren't picky eaters to exert control. They're picky eaters because their tastebuds are more sensitive, especially to bitterness, and quite a lot of foods taste like shit to them. Picky or not, everyone has at least a few things they won't eat. So just imagine someone trying to force you to eat whatever disgusting…

True story: There is a McDonald's in Pataskala, OH (which is also a true thing) and 18 years ago or so, when my kids were small and my wife and I both worked, I would sometimes stop by McDonald's for dinner. Mostly when my wife was working late or out of town because she won't eat that shit.

Children who were "beaten" won World War II, got an education in the world from public schools, put men on the moon, and invented computer technology.

Don't count out Lviv just yet. You're greatly underestimating Putin's desire to have Russia host the Winter Games twice in an eight-year span.