"...a condition researchers are somehow likening to the cartoon Tom and Jerry, probably because a cat having a seizure because its owner dropped a spoon in the kitchen makes seems like something that should only happen in an ultra-violent Warner Bros. cartoon."

I feel like Doug Barry must have been wronged by a cat at some point and it impacted his life in a really profound way. Like he still has the toy the cat loved at the back of his closet and brings it out and smells it sometimes while sobbing. Or sometimes from his residence you just hear him screaming 'FLUFFFFFFFFY'…

Is this why cats lay across the keyboard when you're trying to get work done? They're trying to avoid a seizure.

Not even remotely acceptable. Why couldn't she butcher him and the person he cheated with like a normal person?