Unfortunately this proved to be an ineffective tactic as half of the guards immediately disappeared with the sheets...

So a guy with the last name of Magary and another guy with a first name of Spencer are making fun of people's names?

"Before Game 6, missed a batting practice session at Tufts University because he couldn't find Tufts University"

MJ and Barkley should charge admission to follow them around Vegas for a night

//puts fingers in ears

"Even when she was 15"

@Phintastic: Yeah I remember when it was announced, I was just being a dick, that's all. I have an infant baby and get no sleep so its pretty much my default setting right now....

Sometimes those boys on the balcony got the clever idea of diving off into the pool, and sometimes they missed and landed headfirst on the tile around the pool

@Phintastic: K...but does that make anything I said wrong?

Wow, Dave Matthews writes for this this site, neat.

He immediately began hitting himself with a large whip for showing the sin of pride

Are you calling me stupid?

Chuck Todd broke his hip when he slipped on the puddle of sweat Gary left on the floor...

Well no wonder he gets such bad headaches...

Just wait until Tiger Wood 2: The Search for More Ho's

aj, talked to linda cohn, she was really hoping you made a move on her that night. you know, before you shit your pants. svp

Pete Rose is in line to play Bart Starr

He will also sign if you bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh...

The "this is not why I got into writing" argument works better when you didn't get into writing to make Karate Kid & Rocky jokes...

@DumpsterDining: I have autopayment setup. I try to live by the "ignorance is bliss" philosophy