“Taste the meat, not the heat”  (This message approved by B. Strickland.)

I have always thought that a purposeful heroin overdose would be the way to go. I’m not sure how cost-effective it is compared to coke, but I figure it doesn’t hurt to splurge a little on the really important things. If civilization collapses this is my go to move. I have no desire to live in a post-apocalyptic…

Do they talk about how they used to wear onions on their belt, as was the style at the time? Or how they had to use the word “dickety” because the Kaiser stole the word “twenty?” Because I’d listen to that.

Lady Lyanna Mormont better not die.  She is the greatest character this show has ever created.  Watching her tell Jorah to shove it was peak tv.  

To be fair, when casting my ballot, I would happily vote for “Glass of Water (D)” over ANY FUCKING REPUBLICAN.

Are the bright colors to warn us that he is poisonous?

Yeah, but she ain’t wrong. I’m all for keeping progressive momentum going in pulling the Democratic party more to the left through primaries. But in 2018 the House was flipped by less leftist Democrats winning in swing districts, not the (outstanding people that we need more of) handful of progressives who won in…

I think his slaves would have something to say about that “self made” claim.

Only if by ‘college’ you mean Trump University, the safety school of aspirants to Bovine University.

I’m doing my damnedest to bring back Benign Neglect. 

Oh, calm down. It does not hurt you if I have beliefs. You’re why atheists get a bad name. And that’s coming from my atheist partner.

Counterpoint: Ranch dressing is an unholy alliance of mayonnaise and buttermilk, two vile, noxious emulsions that when combined with some dried onion powder and spices, obliterates the flavor and texture of any food it comes in contact with. It’s American culture distilled into one abhorrent condiment. 

I really respect Al Jean for the call he made. I mean, it was the first episode of his first season as co-show runner. It’s a hard professional call to make to say that the thing that at one point you were so proud of... was all a lie and that you were being used. That’s shitty. Certainly not as shitty as the other…

Yup, here’s the link about engaging in safe shoe-related activity:

I’m now completely convinced that not being able to get pregnant should disqualify you from voting on this. If you, personally, haven’t experienced the heartstopping fear of spending the longest two minutes of YOUR LIFE waiting to see how many lines come up in the window, you don’t get a say. I not only don’t care…

Suckabee: What?!

Biden’s greatest achievement was spawning Diamond Joe Biden at The Onion. He needs to retire or play second fiddle on a late-night comedy show. (Real Biden, Diamond Joe can keep doing his sweet summer gigs.)