I’m petitioning for the worst batter of the year to be awarded with the Davis Dunce Cap Award. It’ll be presented by Mario Mendoza in the parking lot of the Checker’s across the street from where Ebbot’s Field used to be for added depression. 

Let’s hear it for the poise! Let’s hear it for Alleeeeeeeeeeeen! Let’s hear it for #17! You gotta to understaaaaaand! Maybe he’s no Romo, but he’s my QB one man show, oooooooooooh, let’s hear it for the poise!

I wonder if Bartolo Colon is allowed to sue the Flyers for theft of character. 

Sigh, does this mean Gropey-McGee is starting their next game?

John Gruden should just retire to a cushy job as a geo thermal plant in Scandinavia.

I’d say that Nathan peterman defender who harassed you probably feels silly now, but he didn’t seem like he felt much.

Next week, they will eat 64 slices of American cheese.

I’ll be one of the many commenters to say something to the effect of “an accurate description of my dating life”.

There's a sword in Morrowind called the Elton Brand. He should be president as far as I'm concerned.

As a former temp receptionist, I love it. I wasn’t that creative; I just slammed the phone down one day, got my stuff, walked out the door before my shift was over, and then I never went back without ever saying a word to them. The next day I got a call for a better job. 

Yup, running my first. Nyc marathon in November. These training runs are miserable.

I had a similar feeling when I saw his time, I had done a 20 mile training run in about 2:50, and thought “wow he ran a longer distance twice as fast as I ran my distance”.

Holy crap. My fastest recorded mile is 5:30. I was insanely proud of it. I'm still proud of it but that pace is insane. 

I bent the knee for Ser Patrick, and then I was blackballed from the league. No regrets.

Key word try 

Part of me wants there to be a memorial cannonball run in his honor, but it would probably end horribly, because we don’t deserve nice things. 

“Hey donald, it’s your two son! Donald Trump Jr, and jeb trump!”

Is a cunt smile the opposite of a “resting bitch face”? 

Nathan Peterman’s only fan is the worst human being on the planet. 

I can’t imagine getting this upset at someone else about anything. I seriously can’t imagine being this upset at someone else about Nathan Peterman. Was Nathan Peterman worth being outed as a thin-skinned misogynistic troll? Nathan Peterman isn’t even worth swiping for a free ride on the subway.