To clarify, I did not read it, but I know what it said.

“Many people are saying they’d like to play with me. The best people. Very best. Very beautiful people. My uncle, who was a player for MIT, told me that I have a great football mind. One of the best. Maybe the best. Very natural football scientist. Many people are saying so. I don’t know. Maybe I am.”

But...but my job is to trap the relatives of Kim Deal inside airtight enclosures.

I would also add, a date using the phrase “seal the deal” is automatic permission to get up and leave.

Adulting is like their generational tag line.

Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong.

That came out of a twenty seven year olds mouth.

IROC & ROLL

“Steph Curry routinely shoots 3's well beyond the range that is commonly accepted as a high-percentage 3. He needs to learn how to play more within the offense.” 

But was it worth $200+ in urgent care plus prescription costs to feel better a day or 2 sooner? Tough call.

Clearly Kindstrand Nelson is just making this up after seeing the riches and fame that came to Christine Blasey Ford.

tbh fuckin’ in a car should be legal

Interesting that Shyam Das got fired from his other job as an arbitrator for MLB because he wasn’t league-friendly enough. Guess he learned his lesson.

If you’re going to be lazy about it, then don’t bother. Have some enthusiasm about it.

He simultaneously looks like Bobby Hill and Cotton Hill.

Taco Bell is going to go so hard on this. Doritos Abuelos Tacos Motherfuckers!

As a Lyft driver, I barely get tips as it is. I guess I’m the only person who feels social pressure as a rider to tip a buck even on the shortest rides.

Here’s a thought. If your catcher, who appeared in the 6th most games at catcher in 2017, appeared worn out to the point that he was unplayable at the end of last season, then maybe it was a poor idea to have him appear in TWENTY more games (1st in majors) this year?

WAS going to get a Family Guy “thumb blast” joke.... but the internet clearly pushed it too far as there is quite the counter to it....