I’m a minute and fifty-two seconds into the video and I’m continually distracted by the abysmal panel fit/build quality. The fucking tail lights don’t even line up with the light fixtures on the trunk! The driver’s door isn’t even shimmed properly! Come ON, Chrysler. If I’m dropping this kind of coin on a car, it had…

Since we’re on the subject of John Phillips, behold:

The best thing he has ever written.

I’m sorry that it’s a scan of the original article, but 30 seconds of office google-fu didn’t reveal it in electronic form.

I, er...what?

Simple, honest, reliable, and unburdened by the baggage of image.

Love these things.

You had me with Coffee Crisp...you lost me at ketchup flavored chips.

So, like everything in the American market, you can find the best of the best and the worst of the worst in the three areas you mentioned; the easiest, by far, is in beer; the microbrew revolution over the last 20 years or so has put the US out front when it comes to beer.

Quality bread and chocolate are a bit harder…

(googlegooglegoogle)

Cad-Superior 3-way: not what it sounds like.

Good, good, unobtainium, good...which was my main point to begin with. We can grumble all we want about whether we find certain cars interesting; my premise (and refutation of the original idea that 1992 was the worst year for cars) is that these were all good cars, and significant for their manufacturers and the car…

That looks even MORE like a Dornier 328. You’re not making a convincing argument here.

Let me guess...you’re under 20 years old. You really have no idea what you’re talking about...and unless you’ve daily driven any car (American in particular, but any car, really) from the 1970s, you wouldn’t...but that’s ok. Life is a continuous learning process.

Oh, please.

“...looks like the result of a Dornier 328 Jet mating with a C-17...”

No...no. It straight up looks like a 328.

1

Yes.

Yes, we do.

Máté, this is my new favorite feature on Jalopnik. Please keep it up!

Even before I clicked the link, I thought, “I bet John Phillips wrote it.”

Best C&D columnist, back in the day.

Of all the questionable decisions on this car, the three point belt delete is the one that perplexes me the most.

I’d pay good money for this to be cross posted on Gawker. We haven’t had a good comment explosion in a while.

Should I get one in blue/silver top to match my wife’s Flex?

“Subway” is a generic term. Someone who has never been to Boston would have no idea what to do with the headline, “T Takes Off Without An Operator.”