HOLY LORD IN HEAVEN THAT IS A BIG SPIDER

Yeah...for a lot of us, it is just as hard as it sounds. I’ve been obsessively counting calories, clean eating, and exercising for a year and I am nowhere near my goal weight yet.

I always thought it was “I miss the rains down in Africa” :-)

Are they really that strict about advertising in the UK? Shit, we have billboards along highways that are more suggestive than this.

“Okay, grandpa!”

Seriously. I feel like this is something makeup sellers promulgate to make us buy more makeup. I’ve been using four-year-old eyeshadow and I’m not blind or dead yet. Like hell I’m going to throw away a $30 tube of Urban Decay mascara after 3 months (my one splurge - suuuuch good mascara).

Ah, but that’s from Britain. I was referencing the good ol’ US of A with all our Puritan roots and such.

How are Republicans still touting the old “federal funds are used to abort precious babies” bit? Can’t someone charge them for perjury or sue them for defamation or something?? NO FEDERAL FUNDS ARE BEING USED FOR ABORTION, PEOPLE (not that I think it would be a bad thing if they were).

Oh, man - she’s in fifth grade and hasn’t gotten The Talk yet? Better get on that!

What’s the point if the doll doesn’t actually bleed? We have dolls that pee; not sure why a doll that bleeds would be such a big deal (jk - I know it would be a huge fucking deal for old, white, conservative men).

I know, right? He seems like he would be a cool neighbor to hang out and drink beer with.

I think sex has probably changed significantly from the ‘20’s - back then, doctors gave women orgasms to cure “hysteria” and it wasn’t really expected for women to gain any pleasure from sex at all. Lesbians pretty much hid in plain sight (see: Susan B. Anthony) because no one thought women were sexual (and by “no…

Pretty sure you’re a rapist in every state, buddy. Yup - even in NC (http://www.ncleg.net/EnactedLegisla…).

I have a feeling Sarah Palin believes that Obama is not allowed to invite anyone to the White House unless he personally calls Bill O’Reilly and gets his permission first. Every goddamn time Obama has someone at the White House conservatives throw a fit. It’s his house!

“What kind of name is Mohamad?”

There is a strong bipartisan consensus in America that taxpayer money should not be used to fund abortions.

Pennsatucky, anyone?

Maybe unload the kids on grandma and grandpa and go on a short, romantic vacation (or staycation - just get a hotel room in your hometown!) to re-connect. I’ve been with my hubby for over a decade, so I know the feeling of the shiny exterior being worn off, but maybe if you spend a few days alone with him, you’ll…

Could be, but this was in Denver where recreational marijuana is legal, so I don’t see why he would both with synthetic stuff (not that I don’t think his defense is complete BS).

Seriously. Insanity caused by edibles my ass. All “too much weed” does is make you take a 12-hour nap.