Much like Kobe’s teammates, she never had a shot.

Lance Stephenson is a Swiss Army knife, but with all the tools locked in the out position.

Holy shit Draymond got away with some horrendous illegal screens on the last two 3 pointers by Steph

I’ve always had bigger problems with the older generation while working in retail. If millenials have issues, I blame it on their dipshit parents who coddle their kids into thinking the world revolves around them.

I dunno man, people who recline their seats are soulless monsters.

It’s a simple question. If you were a hotdog, would you eat yourself?

I have often said, when the time comes for my pets and others’ to leave us, that the only consolation is that life gets so much easier. It doesn’t make us miss them less, or have loved them less. I understand the relief. They enrich our lives while they’re with us, and they free us when they leave us. It’s possible to…

Sorry, bro. It was actually twelve Bud heavies and, uh, McDonald’s. Better?

Police reportedly made an arrest, but wouldn’t name the man arrested. Whoever it is, he has to appear in court on May 10.

When you've had the kind of drought the Skins have had, there comes a time that even your Cousins start to look pretty good.

To be fair, your overly sensitive (is there any other kind?) feminism makes you attractive to 0% of men and 100% of cis Jezebel readers.

Not to be that guy, but it’s RBF: Resting bitch face.

I think he asked for her blessing to write a lyric saying he should collect on having sex with Taylor Swift for making her famous.

The only thing that surprises me about this story is that it wasn’t a Pac 12 officiating crew. Those assholes could fuck up a menage a trois involving Beyonce and Rihanna.

how else are you supposed to scramble eggs other than in the pan?

Thank you! I was coming here to write the same thing. And fuck office birthday cards. I always write the same thing on office bday or goodbye cards: “get well soon”.

I spray my comforter down with Lysol

Bill should just make eggs for the whole family. It’s the 2010s, man.

Ha, yeah, the one thing that rainbow-cake comment section lacks is that one guy who feels the need to let everybody know that he couldn't be bothered to read the whole article.

I just really like pretty cakes.