I think he asked for her blessing to write a lyric saying he should collect on having sex with Taylor Swift for making her famous.

The only thing that surprises me about this story is that it wasn’t a Pac 12 officiating crew. Those assholes could fuck up a menage a trois involving Beyonce and Rihanna.

how else are you supposed to scramble eggs other than in the pan?

Thank you! I was coming here to write the same thing. And fuck office birthday cards. I always write the same thing on office bday or goodbye cards: “get well soon”.

I spray my comforter down with Lysol

Bill should just make eggs for the whole family. It’s the 2010s, man.

Rugby does this, the “penalty try,” and it really helps clean up play near the try line.

This all looks bad, but at least he hasn’t dabbed on the football field. That would be classless.

You have a supervisor for racism in your office?

Can I hang this is my racist supervisor’s office?

Ok, it wasn’t mentioned at all on the other article either, but was it just me and my sister who seriously couldn’t hear anything? I wouldn’t know if she repeatedly said “negro” or not, because I couldn’t hear a damn word anyone was singing.

Will this never cease to be the truth??

This is perhaps not the best place or time for it, but can I say how much I dislike the idea of “preferred” names or pronouns? My name is my name. My pronouns are my pronouns. I demand them, I don't prefer them, and if you use the wrong ones, we will have a problem.

Innocent until proven guilty, I know, but – hypothetically speaking – how does someone go from being an engineering student with a stepping stone into NASA to becoming an accessory to the murder of a child?

His defense to what?

That certainly looks bad, but it only makes me think of how much worse off Testi’s face must be.

So a podcast is replacing the printed Funbag? When did Simmons take over as Deadspin editor?

Goddamn it. I can’t very well listen to a podcast while I’m pooping at work, now can I?

Ha, yeah, the one thing that rainbow-cake comment section lacks is that one guy who feels the need to let everybody know that he couldn't be bothered to read the whole article.

I just really like pretty cakes.