“I sure hope — we’re in Bernie Sanders’ backyard here in New Hampshire — I sure hope he intends to show up in his neighboring state”...“There is nothing worse than a debate about debates.”

It’s tempting to like Megyn Kelly because she gets into feuds with douchebags about their bullshit and then I remember that she also works for Fox and is a republican and isn’t exactly speaking truth to power herself.

I think if the future of our human existence depended on access to abortion, right-wing nutjobs like Cruz still wouldn’t back down from their position. They’d rather burn down the house with everyone inside than cede ground in the abortion debate. Huckabee thought an 11 year old rape victim should have to carry her…

And the most important - they shouldn’t be wimmen.

I’ve long held the opinion that forced birthers from every country are the same. They’re against abortions for all those random sluts, but when they or a family member needs one, that’s when abortions are acceptable. As mosquitos can’t differentiate between the poor and the rich, I wouldn't be surprised to see at…

The U-pick-em pro-life responses to the Zika Virus:
“They shouldn’t have traveled to a third world country.”
“They shouldn’t live so close to a third world country.”
“They should’ve lived in another country.”
“They shouldn’t be having sex.”

That was glorious and also completely nauseating.

I hope he doesn’t drop out anytime soon. Now that Trump has somewhat reeled in the crazy and Carson is about to drop out any day, we don’t have a lot of people who will bring the funny anymore.

And a hearty “see you later, alligator” to music critic, cookbook author, and honorary Duggar Mike Huckabee. (Sorry, I thought changing the subject in O’Malley’s goodbye article would be a fitting tribute to O’Malley.)

Why do 1-3% polling candidates ever take it this far? Is it just to set up future revenue as a radio/TV professional microphone vomiter?

He’s always reminded me of the actor James Read, one of those “Oh yeah, I’ve seen him before” actors.

From the Quotable Jozen mini-column: “People always ask me why I haven’t been in a relationship, and I say, ‘Because I have yet to meet a girl I wouldn’t cheat on.’”

“women confuse him with the singer Drake”

"pretend it doesn’t exist."

Ive been doing this for the last 3 years... every year I get a raise, and I dont tell my wife or anyone else.. I just set the direct deposit to put that much more in the savings account.
We have a plan to buy a house in a 2018... what she doesnt know is that I already have more than the expected down payment in a 3%…

One of the weirdest things about living in NYC is the prospect that you will live there from age 22 through age 35 (before you get married and move to Rhinebeck, Beacon, Hudson or Kingston) and have almost no savings — or better yet, mountains of debt — to show for it.

Food waste is a huge problem so you ask for your to-go box with pride, sir.

This is exactly my situation and it’s taught me a whole lot, too. I was paycheck-to-paycheck for 15 years of my working life and then hit the lottery and found a job that paid me three times what I was on. The freedom is extraordinary but also terrifying, as you say. I nailed my student loans and got those out of the…

If you’ve recently gotten pregnant and you wanted to go to the Rio Olympics, I’m so sorry.

one of the weirdest things about living in NYC is that every time you get a new job or a raise it just puts you in a position of trying to live somewhat decently.