“But half of people are below average, and the median is pretty damn slow.”

lol that’s dark bro

I like to mutter “penis” to my kids as I walk by esp when they’re hanging out with their friends but just soft enough to where they don’t hear me most of the time

Maybe it’s because I don’t know how to read but I haven’t seen anyone mention cotija yet

so do you leave it in the mug when you bite it, like do you... bring the mug + burrito up to your face and bite it? or is it just there as a burrito holder when you need both hands

stay tuned to my snapchat story where i get mug burritos with guy fieri...

This is how we eat burritos in Mexico.

but you get rent *and* your property appreciates in value. Win-win right?

damn I wanted that

What the hells an XPS 14?

I am so doing this today and yes I really am Carlos Mencia

I love black people can you approve my account now?

Oh god please don’t even start with that.

Good on you. Feeling validated in your actions doesn’t mean they aren’t creepy. If you (or maybe someone else I’m replying to here) is attempting to search out some woman on the internet because of a stock picture or two you happened to see of her on some blog you read, it doesn’t matter how confidently you assert…

Alright well at least that’s out in the open now. Thanks.

Would you be asking the same question if she were a dude or of average attractiveness?

Is it just me or is it creepy to see a girl online and then immediately ask who she is

Alright this is racist.

What do I do if I think I might either be terrible at my job or just plain lazy

“5 appliances to keep your house clutter free”