Land doesn’t vote.

For normal commuting, I need 10 miles a day, so I ride a bike unless I need to wear a suit. If I’m driving, I also need a top speed of 45 so I don’t become a rolling chicane, and US/Euro safety standards would be nice.

Hot-smogged? Wuzzat?

Thank you for making that almost unbelievably obvious point!  Would you like me to make a full use-case for it based on my specific needs or can we just accept that what works for one person might not work for another?

I got popped driving a retired ‘87 Crown Vic police interceptor 104 mph, uphill, on I 84 in New York state. Pulled over so fast the cop almost overshot me and had license/registration/insurance ready when he walked up to my window.

It’s not tall enough to keep hungry bears from peeling me out of the tent and scarfing me down like a giant grub, so... van, please.

So, 50 miles of range? Way more than I use in a daily commute, even with errands thrown in.

Ah, yes... the old “Gosh yes I do intend to spend a lifetime licking boot-leather in case I need some help some day” approach to policing and criticism thereof rears its pointy head.

With a budget of $40,000 I think he’s insane not to consider a bad-ass customized import, like this wagon with a turbo upgrade, a manual transmission swap, and upgraded suspension:

“did I just miss out on repeatedly repairing a great German luxury sedan because I didn’t understood car realities?”

Consumer Reports ranks it behind the Jeep Gladiator and Nissan Frontier for predicted reliability, which is fucking hilarious.

We used to roll up next to the nice people in their nice cars, slouching ominously in our vile hooptie beaters, and when they nervously acknowledged us we’d whip out kazoos and begin playing ‘Taps.’

People are having cellphones wrapped in slices of cheese shoved up their asses as part of a related TokTok challenge.

I was pretty surprised myself; I was expecting to find something heavily discounted to $13k or so.

There are kits that will get you over 3 inches of lift, but then it’s raised all the time and that seems like it would drop mileage over 45 mph a fair bit. I love the idea of on-the-fly adjustable height...

Hotter take: Looking like an ugly expensive car doesn’t make a cheap car less ugly.

My mom’s mom had a ‘57 Imperial convertible with a 392 Hemi that my then-16-year-old mom would drag-race. When I was a kid she was driving a Peugeot 504 Estate with a 5-speed; it was like carpooling with Sébastien Loeb.

Live a little - spend $10,900.

Huh. We did it in Hull...

You’re almost right. It also excels at allowing you to PRETEND that you run trails, which is the reason most people buy them.