That was the thing that got me most. “Hmm... new road layout up there; guess I’ll drive into oncoming traffic in my truck-and-trailer combination.”

The police should set up a combination DUI checkpoint/mental health screening checkpoint there; there’s no way those people aren’t drunk, high, or severely addled.

Ooh, sounds perfect. I’m asking because I’m about to go next level on Silky the Disco Pimp, my blown-LS-swapped ‘79 Delta 88.

The last year, period - 1970 saw it replaced. They’re really nifty little cars and they’re unassuming and kinda cute and having one that runs like a scalded cat would delight me.

What is it like to drive sedately in adverse conditions, like rain?

I want a 1969 AMC Rambler American 440 sedan, in green with a white roof, and I want it equipped with a 6-speed manual transmission and AWD and a turbocharged aluminum-block 401 punched out to 440 cid.

LOL - ‘serious drug charges?’

Meaning no disrespect, but your comment system is as useful as a slaughtered hog at a pool-party.

You do great writeups, Rob, but you glossed over the absolute best feature of this wee beastie... POWER VENT WINDOWS!

There are worse things in this world than a quiet, comfortable commute, for sure. Cruising the right lane at 60 mph, stereo whispering yacht rock, mirrors aimed to avoid glare from the headlights behind you while you play with the power-operated vent windows (!) on the ride home... sounds pretty nice, eh?

True. Still, that’s kind of  like saying “I got kicked in the groin again, but at least it was the RIGHT testicle that got pasted this time.”

Oh goody. A slideshow.

Clearly it’s related to Sister Corita Kent’s 1971 ‘portrait’ of Ho Chi Minh.

That was the reason given for the stop, believe it or not. Only someone trying NOT to get pulled over would drive perfectly, and anyone trying not to get pulled over MUST be up to something criminal!

The police can pull you over for ANYTHING. In fact, they can pull you over for driving too well.

A teenage high school girl with brains and a libido would be ALL OVER IT.

The correct answer is “My 2-owner 2001 Mercury Grand Marquis with 88,000 miles, for $2000.”

Dadgummit, you go git yerself EDUMACATED in the norms and mores of yer adopted culture RIGHT NOW, y’hear?

Man, I haven’t been to the Marshfield Fair since the late ‘70s! Your uncle didn’t own Atlantic Towing, did he?

I love the steering wheel in my ‘79 Oldsmobile, but that’s not important now.