Well, if that’s true then you’ll acknowledge that the prosecuting attorney is ALSO a pathological liar and vote Not Guilty. See how easy that was?

The .08 is hard and fast in every state I know of. A .08 or above is a DUI, regardless of impairment.

As a criminal defense attorney, allow me to state first and foremost that the vast majority of police officers are trained pathological liars and that if one of them tells you so much as the time or the color of the sky you should first mistrust and then verify.

I’d need to see dyno sheets to know where the torque lives.

“Best” doesn’t mean “good.”

I’d rather have the engine from a Yamaha V-Max because

Now, more than ever, I want to see humanity exterminated.

Obviously I am completely insane, but...

Probably the one I already own - a 1979 Delta 88 Royale Brougham coupé with a boxed frame, a full coilover suspension, Corvette C5 brakes, line-locks, a Ford 9" rear end with a 3.73 Eaton True-Trac, a stock interior and exterior, sidepipe exhaust with Dr. Gas boom-tubes, and a supercharged intercooled 370 inch fuelie…

And yet you keep shoveling it into your gullet and griping...

Also Applehead and Applecrap and Crapplegate and Cwapplegate...

I bet there’s some fun and ridiculous use for the quarter-sized holes in the bumper. Mini-pencil beams? Electric squirtguns?

Remember that time you ate an entire pot of burnt Dinty Moore beef stew and complained about the taste after each and every bite?

That’s not how it works.

I average about 15 mpg in my car, but I also drive about 45 miles a week. My sister-in-law averages about 45 mpg and drives 450 miles a week.

That IS appealing!

You are aware that Saudi Arabia isn’t the US, right?

Good. Anything that touches that despotic hellhole should suffer and learn to never touch it again.

This is why my truck is a 27-year-old Nissan D21 Hardbody. If I need more stuff than it can haul in its bed, I need more stuff than I can haul in any pickup truck. 

So you’re one of those fellas who buys a truck solely for looks?