The food truck program will expressly screen out any foods Donnie boy is known to be fond of. No well-done steak. No breakfast sandwiches. No lobster rolls. No hamburgers. American cuisine will be allowed, however, if it’s something he dislikes. I’m guessing he wouldn’t care for farm-to-table vegan cuisine, for…

Soylent or something of that nature was my initial impulse, but remember, this is a man who eats at fast food restaurants because their kitchens are more sterile. I think he could adapt to Soylent. I think it would both freak him out and piss him off to eat yummy food truck food that he can see being prepared by…

Also, who the fuck is Trump to comment on anybody’s weight/physical appearance? Has he seen what he looks like in khakis while playing golf? Or what he looks like in his ill fitting suits? Or just what he looks like period?

I want him to get the Joe Kennedy treatment. Massive stroke that leaves him totally mentally aware but he can’t speak or move his hands to tweet. Trapped in his own mind FOREVER.

His campaign and presidency are erased from the collective consciousness. Trump remembers it all, but no one believes him. We just remember him as that tacky reality show host, and think the poor old fool has lost his mind when he keeps tweeting about how he used to be president and it was bigly tremendous. The Trump…

Orange skin + orange jumpsuit. My delight as of late is imagining Drumpf and his daughter (Eva Braun 2.0) both having to do without pricey salon hair services behind bars, whilst enduring a roomie like Vee from OITNB.

Goes through a grueling trial. Barely escapes jail. At first he thinks it’s business as usual, rich shit getting out of jail for free. But his assets are seized and frozen. He’s broke, destitute. He’s stuck with Melania, too, and she with him. They hate each other but can’t separate. His kids are disrespected…

I think that one where Anthony wishes his sister’s mouth away would be good. Maybe take away his fingers so he can’t tweet either.

Elevators never arrive when he is waiting for one, and escalators are always broken when he is around. He always, always, always has to take the stairs.

He and his entire family (except Tiffany, of course) wind up in prison for various crimes, including begging the Russians to help him win the election so everyone in the fucking world knows that without any doubt, Hillary would have won the election.

Everytime he lies, an employee spikes his food with antifreeze? Am I doing this right?

Ultimate punishment for Trump? He is able to view himself exactly how everyone else sees him.

That said, what would be a fitting Twighlight Zone-style ironic punishment for Trump?

Steps on a Lego every night when he gets up to pee.

Omce more with feeling: Cersei Lannister’s walk or shame.

To be fair, most of Melania’s non-Trump photos involve her grabbing her own crotch, pretending to eat a lavish meal of diamond encrusted jewelry, or doing construction work in nothing but a bikini and diamond bracelets. Which do you choose? 

“Governor LePage of Maine, who, by the way, has lost a lot of weight,” the President of the United States said. “I knew him when he was heavy and now I know him when he was thin and I like him both ways, okay?” 

What is unique here - and Ivanka IS unique - is the incredible level of her over privilege. White privilege is real even if so many whites cannot see it or acknowledge it. But “garden variety” privilege is not the same as this level of constant safety net so no risk exists, ever - even the fucking lemonade stand had…

Yea, I’d forgotten about this story.

I’m reminded of Ann Romney talking about how haaaaard it was going through college with Mitt’s dad only buying them a house, full tuition, and some lump sum for living expenses that was something like $20,000 adjusted for inflation.