That's not my fantasy, but if they are all consenting adults and behind closed doors... butt out, city.

Grizzled, and certainly growing that Kelly beard to cover up his plain features, Leo Tolstoy nevertheless knew how to hold a pen and use it.

That obituary was a disgrace, and got the thrashing it deserved on Twitter and in other media (The Australian is a Murdoch paper) yesterday. My fav response with this article imagining the obits of male writers if they were subjected to the same treatment as women.

I'd argue that America is the Florida of planet Earth.

Eh, if the collective internet decided to tell me what a bitch I was for having standards and how I was going to die alone, I'd gloat too. Not in an, "I won a man" way, more like, "fuck your opinions that turned out to be wrong." There is seriously nothing wrong with having qualities that you want your partner to and…

As a child whose mother failed to protect her from abusive stepfathers/boyfriends, I say fuck her. Children are utterly defenseless and can't leave an abusive situation under their own power. This woman's kids didn't choose her shitty boyfriend.

Alternate Fox News approved course titles:

Healthy weight loss is far too slow for a tv show.

Oh, sure, SHE does it and everyone's like "daaaaaaaaang girl" and I do the same damn thing and everyone's all like "get off of my balcony" and "seriously I'm calling the police" and "using chicken cutlets in that manner is a crime against humanity and God," typical double standard

There is no way to tell these are Dirt Bags from the mobile home page. This has been a problem for a while now (not a specific complaint to Karen). Can Jezebel standardize this somehow? Either have everyone bold the celebrity names even in the big paragraphs, or write Dirt Bag IN the title, or tell the programmers to…

Um...that you're awesome?

It's interesting how she (and he?) choose to frame this. Her reaction wasn't "I would feel more respected by you if you didn't stare at other girls' asses", it was "Well shit, if he feels this way, ALL men must feel this way, so I must do my part to not tempt them away from their wives." No accountability for him at…

Omg, thank GOODNESS her husband was so honest and open with her about his strength and restraint when faced with the insurmountable task of ignoring those lust-inducing Satan pants all the heathens are so fond of wearing!

What's her stance on Hello Kitty PJ pants? Asking for a friend.

Whelp, I was going to hang out in my sexy sexy sex pants (stained in not one, but two places with Nutella) and watch season two of The Fall while my daughter is at a sleepover, but I guess I'd better change. Perhaps I can find some non-lustful dungarees somewhere. I mean, it's just me and the dogs here, but you never…

THE HELL I'M NOT

I'm picturing him communicating with his client via tomato soup can.

I kept reading polish week as Polish week, in which case I imagine the prep is less manicure and more: