Lacks turbo...grab your spoon and your lighter! Also, likely to be bested by an Opel in desert trials. For shame.

I'll agree to everything you say here except the Subaru Justy. I carpooled to high school with a hot half-Japanese, half-American girl who was two years my senior and drove one of these crap boxes. It literally could not accelerate past 35 miles an hour uphill. Fail.

Let's put it this way - let's hope it wasn't a reference to the Night of the Long Knives. Cue the Fox News anchors

Lego Jeremy Clarkson would like to couple it to a blender and make lego brick-dust bunny-spider soup.

Well done, sir. He should probably be careful, just in case the solvents in that orange spray paint eat through the sidewalls.

There's something ironic about Jeremy "I couldn't dress appropriately if my life depended on it" Clarkson investigating a Japanese form of motorsport that's primarily about style.

Some people will do anything for a piece of McQueen-taint-was-here.

Why on earth should we expect this individual to do anything rational in preparing his (or her...it must be said) vehicle for the Hurricane? Consider: this person has clearly purchased a Land Rover - even in its current yuppie guise, an eminently capable off-roader - to drive in GODDAMN NEW YORK CITY!