This obviously does not apply here since “Cindy” would never be playing at Augusta.

I’m no wrestling fan, but how bout you list for us all the things you enjoy?

The only thing less entertaining than most April Fool’s pranks is the throng of people telling us that April Fool’s pranks aren’t funny.

I know. It’s about my next door neighbor.

I fail to see the problem with a delivery of 200 Slim Jims.

Because we’ve been fed the ‘all taxation is theft’ line for decades and lots of people believe it...people don’t lose elections by promising to lower taxes. Also mismanagement. Basically those two things.

She won’t co-operate because it means she will be entitled to half of the $19 million (minus suspension time) that he will make when she divorces him.

But why include this when you can have all that wonderful slow motion? My favorite had to be the shot of a cannon going off and watching the shell casing fall.

I turned off the game with like 9 minutes left. Turned back to it after awhile and Syracuse is cutting down the net. Wtf?

Valentine's Day candied hearts are the worst seasonal candy.

Oh good, even our new writers have terrible opinions.

Maybe they were rendered unconscious by the overwhelming subtlety.

I hope this works. If the NFL can reduce kickoff returns by 5-10% then football will be a safe sport.

Oh no, it’s totally legal, that’s why the can was covered in tape, the referees replaced the ball and there is an article on Deadspin.

Do you have a pot and stove at work? I don’t.

That “stupid” Dire Straits song?!? I would have words with thee, Mr. Novak! Maybe the problem is that it’s admittedly a little hard to grok what the song is actually about: Someone busking in the London Underground for cash.

Let me remind you where, instead of that scene, he chose to have Pa Kent explain how maybe Clark should have just let a bus full of kids die. Because that’s *my* biggest complaint, right there.

(that was a pop out)

Perception is the only thing an offensive line has, because 99 percent of people watching football have no idea what an offensive line’s doing.

“I talk with my hands,” Menzl said.