I’m a terrible human being. Please mock my death when I’m gone.

But where did the bag come from?

Of course, this is not useful information to you, as my salary is set by a collective bargaining agreement and not really negotiable.

I make $34,144.50 before taxes, and bring home $23,178.74 after taxes and insurance/retirement/union dues are removed. Oh, I also made $3,125 from my summer job, pre-tax.

Alex Gordon hit a home run in Baltimore a few years ago that sounded like a rifle being fired.

Judge’s problem is that he’s 10 stories tall and made of radiation, and thus has a massive strike zone. Every player has a spot in the strike zone where they can get beat, and because Judge has such a big strike zone there’s a big area in the strike zone where you can pitch to him.

He promised to protect you from foreign terrorists. That’s it.

Far-right: Book publishers should not be allowed to fire Nazis for having unpopular beliefs.

“We’ve upped our offer, now up yours!”

Counterpoint: I was going to just ignore this promotion, but this post reminded me that I wanted some Philips Hue bulbs, and so I should take advantage of that today.

Counterpoint: I was going to just ignore this promotion, but this post reminded me that I wanted some Philips Hue…

Conversely, now that there are only two cities competing, they might decide to say FU to the IOC and refuse to agree to terms requiring them to build anything.

Look up the hilarious video.

The GOP runs a pedophilia ring that is actually a cover for a pizza place.

I’ve been off contract since 2011 to preserve my unlimited data, so I’m interested to see how this will screw me.

OH I WILL MAKE YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE AND YOU WILL NEVER FORGET IT.

Assault is the threat of bodily harm. Battery is the physical contact. It’s an appropriate charge.

That’s just a deflection.

Two points:

The US Marshal Service exists so the courts can enforce orders without having to rely on the Executive Branch.

Fake news. They’re both undoctored.