I specifically requested that my first name be on my name plate. They wanted to use my everyday name.

Don’t you idiots see that he’s actually Batman?

My parents had a friend who used to race in his car, so he had super-bright lights installed in addition to his regular headlights. When someone was coming the other way with their brights on, he’d flip those on, and my father described it as “It was like the sun came up.”

I’ve gone by my middle name since the day I was born, because I share a first name with my father but NOT a middle name.

No SLU-shaming, Deadspin.

Bad news: she doesn’t have a 5 point lead anymore.

Man, I bet the Raiders have never given up a touchdown like that before.

Especially when he eventually wins the appeals and has a lot of cash on hand to start with.

Their backup is the newly signed “Tom Brady With A Fake Mustache"

which is how humans are designed to wake up anyway.

which is how humans are designed to wake up anyway.

BLM: “Some police are assholes.”

Yeah, but if a Polynesian bites you, you turn into a Polynesian.

His corpse.

Look at the MB/GB statement below it and you see what happened.

Les Miserables is about the June Rebellion of 1832. It failed miserably and most of them died. Though apparently one old guy dragged a guy through the sewers to escape.

After this description, I can hear all that - it just seemed like background sounds to me before.

Worf?

Trump promised to donate $5 million to charity if he was convinced that Obama was born in the United States. When and where will he be making that charitable donation?

What’s wrong with being sexy?