Kids born in 2003 can get their learners’ permits this year. Feeling ancient now?

“Stumbled upon”? It’s printed right on the disc. I’m waiting for the story where someone “stumbles upon” the fact that DOOM makes fun of you for quitting.

“This one weird trick to discover an incredibly rude trick will blow your mind!”

There are great cheeks on both sides.

What are you talking about? Punishment? This is a great butt. The best butt. Many people are saying so.

So you’re asking how the largest data-gathering company with limitless resources whose servers your phone pings a thousand times a day with identifying information and who basically owns half of all the data on the planet is going to know who owns one of their phones?

I can read between the lines to make my own determination, but how exactly do you FEEL about homosexuality? Do those meanies on the left make you FEEL BAD about your BAD FEELINGS about gay people? Well, boo fucking hoo, buddy. It’s obvious that what you don’t understand about this would take me too long to explain,…

Prettttty sure no one ever said people aren’t allowed to be uncomfortable with other people’s life choices. Way to ignore everything the LGBTQ community has been fighting against.

The left opposes being so uncomfortable with gay people that you want to see them be psychologically tortured until they’ve been convinced they’re not gay anymore because that is Bad, Actually.

The “years ago” excuse is also bullshit without a loud, strong statement against anti-LGBTQ bigotry to specifically include condemnation of religious conversion practices.

Pence trying to write off his (still very real) support for conversion therapy as “years ago” is just another step down the path of Republicans trying to flush their past record down the memory hole where convenient.

Do you think Pence was confused momentarily when he heard Rippon’s Mother was going to be on CNN?

I mean Rippon is a really pretty young man...

“My only hope for you is that you bring home a gold medal”??? Really telling Mike that your ONLY hope for this young man is that (in spite of all the horrific things you have said and done to diminish LGBTQ people) he performs well enough to glorify this country that you are turning into a shithole.

Let us just get this out of the way, the sexuality of Mike Pence is not important. Who cares what his sexuality is? What is important is that he has a valid policy stance to hurt and endanger the lives of LGBTQ people regardless of how he feels satisfied behind closed doors. Mike Pence articles always turn into these…

My thing this year has been sneaking up on my wife and dumping a box of valentine’s candy on her.  So far it’s working.

My thing this year has been sneaking up on my wife and dumping a box of valentine’s candy on her.  So far it’s…

I can see you’ve studied humor a lot and are quite the expert on it.

Bozo expects sitcom starring Glenn Howerton to be a realistic take on high school, film at 11

AP Bio is a great place to learn the D.E.N.N.I.S System.

at this point, I have zero fuckin clue how you managed to draw out the idea that literally any of these things would be a reasonable expectation for this show based on the foundational knowledge of the commercial promos, lead actors, and creator