I like how he thinks he’s a hunter because someone will drive him out to a stocked yard and tell him where to point his gun. He’s a hunter like artificial insemination is sex. 

Word. I have written smut under a pen name and had people email my pen-email address calling me by my given name.

A baby being worth the expense is a crapshoot. Probably not a nice thing to say, but true. Ultimately, babies are people, and you might get one you don’t like much. I was extremely fortunate to spawn one so much to my own liking that I can’t imagine anything better in the world, but I have friends who have had…

I fell for the farmboy. In retrospect, it was because Han gave me fever and Luke made me feel normal again. But then I met Mr. Spock and it was game over for both the Star Wars boys. Now that was a man!

Nothing more terrifying in the world than the nail clipping.

I like to be upfront about my mindless consumerism, international labor practice ignorance, and conspicuous consumption, so I just buy my gear from Walmart. This is why I will never be either an influencer or a particularly well-dressed practitioner.