I’m a woman who converted to Catholicism from an evangelical, Protestant church when I was 19, in 2012 (for theological reasons). Then and now, I’ve struggled heavily with the Church’s abhorrent handling of sex abuse, amongst other issues. But my two long-term thoughts, then and now, are that (1.) for me learning…

This article is a distortion of the sub reddit. The cherry picked post about “the right girl will fix a man” for example. FDS principles discourage “building a boyfriend”. Men who are capable of dating should be fully formed human beings, with jobs, hobbies, friends, and lives. Many of the strategies are designed to…

Not sure why that would be the case. In the end I’m never noticed much of a moral difference in men versus women. Oh, don’t get me wrong - men are worse, but only because they have more power to actually do crappy things. In even environments both groups suck equally.

Yo, no one cares about your incredibly insulting and bullshit ego-extravaganza take either...

“So, you’re saying you don’t go down?” the interviewer clarified.

Yeah, but they don’t require testosterone treatments for women who produce just a bit more than average. We are talking about people who produce three times as much (Caster Semenya for example) as average women. If anyone other female athlete was caught with those levels of testosterone in their blood, they would be…

The Phelps example always cracks me up because there’s a plethora of adjacent data to show why it’s a poor comparison for the divide between men and women.

Phelps competes against the fastest swimmers in the world, who are all men. There literally isn’t a woman who could possibly compete at that level. Katie Ledecky won the women’s 400m freestyle in Rio in a world-record time of 3:56.46. That same time would have ranked 43rd of 51 in the men’s heats, and was over 7…

To add on that, it wasn’t just her, but another trans athlete then took that other top spot while competing. While the article does mock a lot the fact that the girl who made the complaint came in sixth in the race, it does ignore the girls who came in 3rd and 4th. It is true that those girls did not complain, at…

This tends to be my opinion as well. I think that the concept of fairness in a restricted-class sports competition (in this case, women’s sports) relies on a fundamental adherence to the spirit of that restriction.

In a more sane world, everyone would just use the NCAA’s testosterone policy, and then be open to monitoring outcomes over the course of years or even decades as we continue to accrue more observations of trans athletes. This is a topic where I don’t really care about people’s opinions right now. I think the…

Good for you for believing in your gut instinct. Abusers are emotional vampires. You have to believe in your own experiences. Narcissistic takers will suck the life out of you. High and dry is not a badge of honor. 

LW, I’m so sorry. If it’s any comfort, you’re not alone here - I’m 1.5 years out of an eerily similar relationship (including, but not limited to, being the “more in love” one, staying after discovering the secret dating app, a pathetic unanswered post-breakup email, and a new job and new neighborhood after the fact).…

That’s so interesting! As someone who’s been married for a couple of decades, I can confirm that the times when the narratives don’t line up are the hardest times. You either have to rewrite your narrative about your partner, or yourself. Neither is easy. 

About a year before we broke up, I found out from a friend that he had a secret profile on a dating app. I tried to forgive him and restore trust in the relationship, but I couldn’t overcome my insecurities.

Letter writer, we should chat! I wish you could DM me in Kinja.

This is one of my favorite pieces of advice, from Captain Awkward:

Do not be ashamed for getting through this and being divorced. 3/4 of my married friends are now divorced and after taking time to heal and self-care, are back dating and have healthy partners. There is no “right time” to leave a toxic relationship.

I don’t have anything to offer but boatloads of compassion. A friend of mine just went through a tremendous shock and found solace in YouTube videos of Tara Brach. Not sure of the contents but they were immensely helpful to her. Love yourself even more: ♡.

First, I want to say that I’m so sorry he hurt you like that. You didn’t deserve any of it. Second, what you wrote really resonated with my experience with an ex whom I now consider to have been emotionally abusive. (I’m not saying that yours was, just that the details of his behavior and the hurtful things he said to…