I’ll be the first to shamefully admit I’ve never watched The Osbournes, but you don’t really get your own reality show by being a well-adjusted member of society with a healthy respect for other people.

YES! All the stars for you. At least once a year I hear Tim Meadows’ voice meekly saying “I think my whore is dead.”

I think we’ve all had enough experience with masked people now to know that even a mask that covers half your face is no impediment to recognizing someone.  But, in comics you just accept that glasses and domino masks are 100% effective.

In my fan-script, Clark’s glasses are made from a piece of his ship that essentially uses stealth technology similar to the perception filters on Doctor Who--they don’t necessarily make him look different so much as they make people look past him. This not only explains how people don’t recognize him as Superman, but…

They could probably explain it away through his powers somehow - whenever he’s in a crowded place or somewhere he might be filmed, he’s learned to use his speed to rapidly vibrate at such a micro level that he appears blurred on film, but it’s too fast for the human eye to notice...or something.

Christopher Reeves’ Clark Kent was really the only attempt to address to stupidity of the secret identity. His physicality of CK was so completely different. I think future iterations were afraid to steal the concept of the geeky Kent.

But that used to be part of the fun of the character — the romantic triangle of sorts between Clark, Lois and Superman.

“Tell me... DO YOU SNACK!?”

One assumes all the money this cut would make would be sour dough. 

I still maintain, to this day, that they should have just had the revived Superman have a mustache, and nobody notices, nobody says anything, it’s just there. 

Eating pretzels in slow motion, and throw in a few tracking shots of crystals of salt slowly falling down... down... into Cavill/Superman’s crotch.

Cavill’s mustache: now encrusted with mustard!

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

These pretzels... are making me THIRSTY!

Too much crunching. Couldn't hear anything!

[takes notes]

There’s an alternate universe where Colbert instead sticks to acting and voiceover work and he’s just as cool there, as here.

I was hoping for some pictures of these foods you are describing.

My kids get a book in the mail every month from Dolly Parton's reading nonprofit, and every book has a picture of her on the back flap. My toddler now shouts "Dolly!" whenever we finish a book. It's a relief that she isn't a secret nazi or anything. 

Good, I’m not the only one who went straight to the comments upon seeing that name. I’m going to check out the show just to find out what a Scroobius Pip looks like.