How about a Lizzie Borden show instead? People have been axing for it.

I’m going to BAILIFF you make one more courtroom pun!

I am GUILTY of loving the original Night Court, but i do have several OBJECTIONS to this sequel. But if you want to go ahead and watch, I'LL ALLOW IT. 

Yay! Not a slideshow! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I have to say, I’m a little disappointed that Tom Hanks isn’t playing a giant robot

Why, for 54 years I’ve put up with them now!
I must stop these Grinch adaptations from coming! But how?

Koh-Sköh has some good deals once in a while as well.

Actually, these are all viral advertising for my all-male exotic dance revue, Manolith.

Putting money on Free Parking makes Monopoly worse by dragging it out, much as forgoing the auction mechanic does. Common mistakes like that are at least partially responsible for Monopoly’s bad reputation :P

That’s the thing, most of these people who’ve bought into Trumpism are actually decent people—some are even members of our families. And we can even be cordial with each other and find ways to get along... as long as we don’t talk politics.

I love RC Cola. It's hard to find even here in San Antonio where it's supposedly bottled.

As recently as the late ‘70s or early ‘80s, they had a TV ad campaign where someone opening a Nehi would bring in a flood of soda, requiring the characters to roll their pants up to knee-high (Nehi).

Nehi Blue Cream Soda was a favorite of mine in high school.

Nehi Peach was my favorite soda to buy when my mom would let me get something in the gas station cooler as a treat back when I was a kid. It’s so bad and not even the slightest bit peach flavored, but I loved it.

I saw this in our local theatre. It was very good even though I’ve never seen or read Gone with the Wind. Would recommend.

“Have some more peanuts” . I teched on that one too. I always wanted to pair it with ‘ The Last Night of Ballyhoo ‘ for a big alt ’Gone with the Wind’ extravaganza.

The Confederacy did have a Jewish Secretary of War, whereas the Union had General Order No. 11. I don’t think it would have been considered a shande far die goyim in 1939.

It’s a fast food version of chicken fried steak. 

Dairy Queen used to offer a spackle like country gravy as a dipping sauce for their chicken tenders along with Texas Toast. Not sure where this combination is a normal thing or if they even serve it anymore.