You are misreading my comment. I in no way suggested that anyone should be angry at Mr. Phillips. I think he believed his actions would help in the moment. But in retrospect, banging a drum into a crowd of rowdy and dumb teenagers is not the best way to resolve tension. Again, it was a well-intentioned miscalculation.

Yes, thank you.  Well said.

I watched the whole of the first video clip of the event that I encountered and what I thought I saw in Sandmann’s eyes was awkwardness, discomfort, and a desire to not make a bad situation worse. I realize many saw the exact opposite. I’ve decided that the evidence is too ambiguous to draw conclusions and have noted…

Did Sandmann also do the tomahawk motion or was that just his idiot classmates? He’s dead wrong when he says his school isn’t racist, but if he just stood there and smirked when approached by Phillips, it’s idiotic to single his actions out as racist.  Who are the young men making the tomahawk motions? Who are the…

I believe his side of the story and I like that he said he respects Phillips and, in the interview, he was not trying to guess how Phillips feels about things. Phillips approached him and he stood there and listened and smiled. I know some people assume it’s a smirk. To me, it looked like a person who is feeling…

Job update: trying not to go insane from waiting. The hiring manager and pharmacy manager are meeting Monday morning, so I should finally have an answer then. I will hopefully have exciting news to share with all of you next week if I haven’t lost all of my marbles due to a combination of waiting to hear about the job…

Seriously. They chanted “Build the wall” at native americans. 

Again, it is FUCKING SICK that it took a documentary on a cable network channel to get the POLICE to pay attention to Kelly and for the industry to finally publicly admonish him. He peed on a teenage girl on camera and it wasn’t enough. People are just too much.

I can’t speak to resources other than therapy, Lady. Just having someone listen (a friend) really helps me with my mother. Granted, my mom lives in the USA and I’m in Canada, so it’s easier.

Late to the discussion here, but my mom is very similar. She’s always had favorites among her 3 biological children (she also has 2 step children) and our relationship was contentious during my last 3 years of living at home. She routinely violated my privacy and, when she found out private information she didn’t want…

An amazing resource on how to set and enforce boundaries (for all types of relationships, but especially with difficult people) is the advice blog at CaptainAwkward.com.

Jennifer Peepas (the Captain herself), gives wonderful, compassionate advice, and the community she’s created is amazing too (the comment section is h…

There's a book available on Kindle called "how to hug a porcupine" (by John Lund I think? It has a dude in a suit of armor on the cover) that's super useful in dealing with toxic people when you don't want to, or can't, cut them out of your life. 

My very practical advice is to read Danu Morrigan’s book You’re Not Crazy, It’s Your Mother and to see if it speaks to you. Here’s her website.

It sounds like as your mother gets older, her choices are bugging her more, and she’s taking it out on you.

It took me til my mid 40s to sever all ties. That was a good move on your part to decline her (strings attached, years of hearing about it probably in mom martyr mode) “generous” offer to repair your car. Any asshole who pitches a fit when their “generosity” is politely or rudely declined. It was leverage and guilt…

The politics stuff, I guess just keep reiterating that you don’t want to hear it.

Even though alcohol may not be a factor - hit up an Alanon or Adult Children’s group. They can help you with boundaries etc.  God this sounds like a control thing - li

Gaga suddenly speaking up five years later? Smells to high heaven as part of a de rigueur reputation cleanse mid- Oscar campaign, but it’s just bad timing. She could’ve said something two years ago; now she’s highlighting a bad choice from her past, probably designed to be edgey at the time, but now throws it right bac…